■October 8, 2008 - The Work Drama Saga

[Mood:Numb] There's been a hell of a lot of drama happening at work the past several months. Fortunately, I can say it is (mostly) over. I shall reiterate what has come to pass. My previous entry was all about my angst for Drupal. My job appointed me the task of remodeling one of their company websites and Drupal was the tool of choice to do so. I was fed up with Drupal and didn't want to use it anymore. Work had pushed it on me, because the IT guy praised it as some godly web application that will magically create a website that will satisfy all of the bosses' needs. The IT guy definitely sold me and the boss on it. My mistake was trusting the IT guy. Since I started this job in June, I spent a good chunk of June and July struggling with Drupal. I needed help so bad with it that I needed someone to hold my hand. I kept e-mailing the IT guy asking for help (since he seemed to be a Drupal guru), and he would just link me to forum posts that didn't really solve the problem. Drupal is free and open source so it doesn't have any solid documentation to back it up. Anyway, I was stuck. Drupal was a pain in the ass and the guy who pushed for it wasn't helping. I should've done it sooner, but I finally told the IT guy and my boss that I wanted to trash Drupal and do things my way. The IT guy was a bit feisty about it. After a semi-dramatic conversation, he agreed to let me do things my way. When I told my boss I wanted to do things my way, I mentioned "It took me two months to make the website in Drupal. If I had done it my way, it would've taken two weeks". My boss didn't care what I used to make the site, he just wanted the site finished. I was very happy to finally make the site my way. "My way" = making the site in Dreamweaver, which allows me to have full control over the design. Things were looking up and I was beginning to finally love the job. But then...

It was towards the end of August; my 90-day probation was approaching on Sept. 2nd. That'd be the day I'd be granted my benefits and insurance. My boss called me into his office to discuss the website I was making. It was an awkward conversation; my boss was asking me several development-related questions (I'm not a web developer, I'm a web designer). He seemed frustrated that I was taking so long with the website. I tried to avoid giving excuses, but I hinted one reason it was delayed was because the IT guy wasn't being very helpful to me. The boss replied to that by emphasizing that the IT guy is not above me, that in fact the IT guy WORKS FOR ME. WOW. I had no idea. This whole time I thought the IT guy was above me. Previous events made it obvious to me that he was above me. It would've made this completely different if I knew that ahead of time. Anyway, it gets worse. My boss concluded this chat by mentioning that due to 'these circumstances', he extended my probation 30 days to Oct. 2nd. That's just a nice way of saying he considered firing me and he's giving me another chance. WTF? Another month without insurance and benefits! I was very bothered by this. The next day I went full throttle on looking for another job.

Soon after this terrible announcement from my boss, he had hired a supervisor for me and the rest of the marketing department. You see, my boss doesn't live here, he lives in Canada. He would come down once a month for a week (usually). Now that someone is here all the time to coordinate our projects, things were getting better.

Somewhere along the lines of all the drama that went on in June-August, I must've rubbed the IT guy the wrong way because he some things to me that weren't very nice. In later September and early October, he sent out a couple e-mails that pointed out a mistake I made to ALL the management. I wasn't sure how to react to it. Eventually, fortunately, my new supervisor stood up for me. I didn't have to approach him about the e-mails making me feel bad, because he approached ME saying "Hey, these e-mails make you look bad. I'll do something about it!" And he did :) Wow, he's a good guy.

The next mishap was with my benefits. Open enrollment came around for benefits. My favorite HR lady walks by and hands me a paper confirming my benefits. I'm looking at the paper confused, saying to myself "Huh? I don't have benefits..." and lord behold, this paper was telling me my insurance benefits were active since DAY ONE. Holy shit. I had no idea. Not once did the HR lady give me any hint that my insurance was active. I've even periodically ASKED HER questions about my insurance as if I didn't have insurance, and she went along with it and answered my questions as if I had no insurance. Confused, I went to speak with her about this. I told her I was completely unaware that my insurance was active.

From the HR lady I also learned that I began gaining PTO (paid time off) hours after my original 90-day probation. What? I'm glad the 30-day extension of my probation didn't phase my PTO benefit, but... then what's the point of the probation? That is something I asked her. Since I've had insurance since day 1 and my time off started after 90 days, where's the value in probation? What do I gain with it? She replied by saying I would be recognized as an employee that can do the job - huh? Okay. That's a little silly for this job to make such a big deal about a probation when it's just something on paper that doesn't really mean anything. Yet again the HR lady is smoking something and not keeping me well informed.

This is a reoccurring theme with this company: lack of information. It's not very well organized. However, things are better now thanks to the new supervisor. Like me, he came from an organized corporate environment. He's a smart guy who knows what he's doing and how to get things done. Most importantly, I like that he gives feedback and mentoring support. I'm no longer left in the dark. It was kind of depressing the first three months having a boss who never tells me anything.

■August 26, 2008 - CMP sucks!!

[Mood:Irritated] Before I begin with my rant, I'm going to point out what the heck I'm talking about. There are programs made to be installed and used on the internet, and these such web programs are called content management systems (CMS). Their purpose is to generate a website for you, to save you the trouble of making a website from scratch. Most CMS are specialized for a single purpose. For example, my Final Fantasy VII screen shots section was generated by a photo album CMS. And my message board is a CMS. Then there are CMS that claim to "do it all". It is becoming more common to call these CMS as CMP, which stands for content management platform.

My gripe is with CMP. THEY SUCK! Or more specifically, I am upset with Drupal, one of the more popular CMP. My job wanted me to use it to design the new websites. I've been struggling with it the past two months. It's been hell! I will explain to you exactly why CMP sucks.

Top reasons why CMP sucks:

CMP isn't designed for a large website!

- For example: Drupal. All the available themes don't have more than six top navigation buttons.
- If you have tons of pages, sorting through them in the page management screens is a hassle.

They all look the same!

- All CMP have a distinct similar layout.

It's not easy to make global changes!

- Say you want to make a global edit to 10 pages. Sorry, you need to edit them one at a time. You could add a PHP include to save trouble with such a task, but then that defeats the purpose of using the CMP.

WAIT TIMES!!

- For ANYTHING you need to do: click... wait... click... wait... oh shit, I made a typo - click... wait... click... wait... ARGH! Designing a site with a web-based GUI is tedious and aggravating!

No Dreamweaver!

- Want to use a WYSIWYG editor? Sorry, you need to copy/paste code to and from CMP to benefit from them. Oh, but you can't actually preview the page since it's just code without images and includes.

- For example: Drupal. With Drupal's "page.tpl.php" you can design the global theme in a WYSIWYG editor, but you still can't preview images.

The navigation doesn't allow non-page categories!

- Say you want to make a "Dogs" category and sub-menu it with "Terrier", "Shiatsu", etc. - Sorry, you can't do that without making "Dogs" a clickable page. The only thing you can do is [A] cave in and make a "Dogs" page (more work), or [B] shortcut it to another page (bad for usability).

Modules aren't a magic wand!

- One of the highlights of CMP are its hundreds of modules that add an array of functions. Want a poll? Add a module! Want a contact form? Add a module! - OH but wait, every module needs to be tweaked and customized, which means MORE WORK.

No tutorials!

- Do you want a step-by-step tutorial with CMP? Sorry, there's none! The only help available is a sea of forum posts that may or may not solve your problem. Oh, but doesn't the CMP website have full guides? Yes, they do! Oh... but they just introduce the CMP and don't give any step-by-step directions... sorry.

Conclusion:
I'm probably being too one-sided by flat-out saying CMP sucks. It would be more accurate for me to say "CMP sucks for designers". CMP is for bloggers, news sites and code-snazzy web developers. Heck, I loosely fall under the code-snazzy web developer category because I KNOW CODE and can type it up by hand - but I also like SAVING TIME and using Dreamweaver's wonderful features that make building and maintaining a site so much easier. From this day forward I decree that I will NEVER use a CMP for designing a full site until such a concept is integrated into a PROGRAM. YES - I want a SOFTWARE GUI, not a WEB GUI. And I bet if such a thing comes to be, we will see it in Dreamweaver first!

I will especially most positively NEVER EVER use CMP to design an RPG shrine. Ever! I'd rather eat vomit than have one of my shrines pulled from a database and have every page with a bland repetitive design.

I'm joking about it but I'm serious when I say Drupal was really stressing me out. Wouldn't you be stressed out if your job required you to use some terrible, tedious program? It got to the point that I had trouble sleeping. Here I am hired as a web designer, and by pushing Drupal they're telling me to push aside what I know about creating websites and learn something new. While it is never a bad thing to learn something new, in this case it was very bad. It caused me to take TWO MONTHS to create a single website when it would've taken me less than TWO WEEKS to create it in Adobe Dreamweaver. Last week on Friday I voiced my opinion to my boss and the web developer. The web developer seemed a bit disgruntled with my decision to deny Drupal. Our conversation ended with him sarcastically saying "OK, fine! Use Dreamweaver. Less work for me!" As for my boss, on Monday he pretty much said "OK, do it in Dreamweaver. Just do whatever it takes to get it done." Wow! That's exactly what I wanted to hear! :) Since then I've been happily using Dreamweaver to swiftly create the website. So no more Drupal! CMP is CRAP - don't use it!

■July 9, 2008 - So, about my new job

[Mood:Somewhat satisfied] So, I started my new job June 2nd, so I've been working there a little over a month. Thoughts? Well... for sure, this place is better than my previous job. I'm not stressed at all. I'm officially the company's sole web designer. Most responsibility of all web-related functions are my domain. This is my first job where I'm working on a Mac. It's kind of annoying, but I'm getting used to it. I don't interact much with other employees. I do, however, interact a lot with the graphic designer. He's an awesome guy. We're both into sci-fi and superhero stuff. He's been great at explaining to me how the company's processes are. My boss (who hired me) is a cool, open-minded, fun guy. The salary is pretty much the same as my previous job. I'm getting slightly more, approximately $80 biweekly (yay?). But when my benefits kick in after the 90 period that extra mula will be sucked away.

I began this job assisting the graphic designer with his overflow. I had nothing else to do because it took them almost two weeks to buy the software I needed to do my work. As they said, my first task is to remodel their websites. I've been creating samples to show them how I intend to make the new site. Once I displayed these samples is when I really learned how things work at this company. I displayed these samples in an e-mail containing a 2-page report of my market research explaining why I took the direction I did with my samples. I think I brought up some interesting, important arguments about the new site. As it turned out, they ignored my e-mail and it took almost two weeks for them to give me any sort of feedback on it. After such neglect of my e-mail, I predicted they would be too lazy to read it and just wait for me to explain it in the next meeting. Not even that happened.

In the next meeting (last week on Thursday), two things were discussed: (1) they chose which sample of mine they preferred, and (2) they wanted a WIDESCREEN version of the website. What? WIDESCREEN?! I brought up several more important topics, and he spent the entire portion of the website meeting talking about making the website widescreen. My boss's sidekick was agreeing with him at every turn like an echo. Yes, my boss has a sidekick; a young guy with "Yes, I agree" as the only words in his vocabulary. Okay, probably 98% of the internet is designed for viewing on 1024x768. WTF. Hell, even people with widescreen monitors constrain their net browser to a shorter width (like me). Why? WHY?!? It gets worse.

In the second meeting (this Monday), I attempted to please my boss by suggesting to create an alternate stylesheet that would make the website look more appropriate for a large screen display. BUT I emphasized that the default version of the website must remain within a width of 760 pixels for compatibility reasons. To make my suggestion spicier, I added that the switching of stylesheets would permit a version of the website for mobile phones. My boss reacted to this by discussing the widescreen and mobile versions of the website for the entire duration of the website meeting. Why? WHY?!? I fucked myself over - now he's all gitty for a mobile version of the site. So now he really really wants this site to have both widescreen and mobile versions. This is a BITCH. If this idea of his really comes into bloom, that would mean that every time I update the site I would likely need to update the widescreen/mobile versions in addition to the default site - a single update in 3 places!! PAIN. Tomorrow the web developer is coming in so I'll have a little chat with him about this and hopefully he can tell my boss "No! Bad boss! Bad! Don't make Alex focus on useless website features that only 1% of our audience uses!"

Sucks, huh? The graphic designer explained to me that this behavior is normal and something he has to deal with. That these people aren't very responsive and sometimes my boss will think he's a designer and tell us exactly what he wants us to do. He added that my boss's ideas at times can be quirky and unpractical. It's a relief that the graphic designer clues me in on these annoyances so I can better deal with them. Honestly though, even though I'm exaggerated a bit and making a big deal out of this, it's not so much of a big deal. This work drama is definitely better than the BS at my previous job. In other words, I would say this job is very tolerable.

■May 16, 2008 - Accepted a job+new shrine

[Mood:Relieved] So I had the job interview today with the travel rewards company. It was good. I believe I made a good impression since he was insistent on getting the ball rolling to hire me. However, the job didn't appeal to me. I would be doing the same bland old corporate work that I despised in my previous web design jobs. Plus the commute is well over an hour's drive back and forth. It made me further appreciate the experience I would gain from Stanton Group, despite the less than desired pay they're offering. Again, the fact that I would be THE web designer for Stanton is a big plus. Potential employers always ask web designers "Please give me at least 3 live websites you've worked on", so a high profile company website will be great to present. Stanton Group was actually one of those typical jobs asking for at least 3 live sites. But the people were so impressed with my portfolio site and my work samples that they waved it. The guy even said "Your portfolio website was more than enough to display the talent we wanted to see".

So yeah, I start the following week. Ugh, but don't congratulate me. It reminds me of the fact I'll be making the same salary, which bugs me. With this new job I don't really feel as though I've gained anything. It's just a job. If they don't give sufficient raises, I'll stay there for over a year (I'll try for 2 years so it doesn't look so bad that I leave jobs easily) then look elsewhere.

In other news, the other day I completed yet another shrine: Parasite Eve for PSX. It's always a happy occasion when I produce a new shrine because these days I seldom do them. Creating a shrine is a lot of work. This Parasite Eve shrine is probably 3 months of work. I played through the game and collected game saves, screen shots, and movie clips. Doing that is time-consuming. I hope people appreciate that. It's been years since I've re-played Parasite Eve. Doing so was a pleasant experience. I love how the game is so borderline gory. It was released before horror-type games began getting really twisted and excessively gory; I'm not big on games like that.

I'm trying to take advantage of all this free time to work on updates I've been meaning to do for my site. The other day I finished collecting games saves for Earthbound. Currently I'm working on collecting game saves for Front Mission. If circumstances permit, maybe I can even squeeze in another shrine. I've been itching to cover Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. As I've stated previously, my recent mood is to cover PSX RPGs.

■May 15, 2008 - More employment drama

[Mood:Slightly irritated] Okay so several weeks ago was my job interview with Stanton Group. As I left my house for the interview I realized I had no idea where I was going - they never sent me their address! The job ad on Career Builder pointed out that Stanton Group was located in an area called Las Olas, which is 45 minutes away from me. The job ad did not have the address, just the appropriate location signified by a thumb tack. I thought I would just drive over to Las Olas and give my favorite HR lady a call for directions. I did so. So when I arrived to Las Olas and called my favorite HR lady, she pointed out their company was nowhere in that area. They were actually 20 minutes away in a different area. Wonderful. Fortunately, I arrived there on time. So I enter the office...

Me: "Hi. I'm here for a job interview."
Secretary: "Okay. Who are you here to see?"
Me: "--I don't know."

Lol, YEP! They never told me who I was going to be interviewed by. All that I was given was the TIME. I gave the secretary the HR lady's name, since I knew no one else to tell her. She called the HR lady (who wasn't in the office at that time) and it was relayed who I had to see. It was the guy I had the phone interview with a month ago. So I'm meeting with this guy for the job interview. He lets me know... "Oh by the way, this interview will be 2 and 1/2 hours and you're going to be interviewed by seven people." OH, just seven people?? NO problem. THANK YOU for giving me this important information at the last freakin minute.

Well, I'm being a little dramatic. The interview actually was great and went smoothly. Interviews don't bother me as long as the interviewer isn't unwelcoming and tries to intimidate me, like others have done before. These people were actually all very nice and made me feel comfortable. They're relaxed, free-thinking people who love what they do. Since Stanton Group is a music company, everyone there has some sort of music or artistic talent. It left a good impression. And I do believe I left everyone a good impression.

Two weeks later my favorite HR lady called me requesting me to fill out paperwork so they can run a background check on me. Huh? Companies do that after an employee has been hired. Weird.... okay so I filled out the paperwork and faxed it over.

Today my favorite HR lady called me again to present to me an offer of a salary that is the SAME as my previous job. Now, this is partially my fault. Originally when the HR lady asked me what I made in my previous job, out of habit I accidentally told her my starting salary from there. When I left my previous job, I had just barely been there over a year and was granted a 1k raise (since every year is an automatic raise). So to "make me happy" she offered me a salary 1k more than what I told her, unknown to her that +1k isn't an increase at all. BUT really though, arguing about 1k is irrelevant because she should be offering me 3-5k more than my previous salary! What's worse is that this salary is literally an annual salary - meaning I will not be paid hourly and I won't get paid extra for overtime hours. I have to be at this job for 3 months for benefits to kick in. Plus the job is a farther drive than my previous job. Overall, it's a less than desired deal. However, this job offers one big benefit. I'll be THE web designer for Stanton group. My first task will be to remodel one of their main corporate websites (Stanton Group is 3 companies). This will be a great addition to my portfolio, something my previous job would've never been able to offer me. (Sighs) But this is at the cost of a slightly lower salary (when non-paying overtime hours are figured in).

I don't want to reveal my salary, but I will say it's close to 50k. 50k is the average a starting web designer is supposed to be making. With all of my ability I've been fighting for 50k or higher; it hasn't been easy with the decline of the market and the fact that designers in Florida in general don't get paid very well. I know my design abilities are exceptional and it has granted me a higher salary than most of my competition, but it's not enough. I refuse to stick with a salary lower than the 50k average. I'm desperate for work, so I may just accept it... :\

The HR lady added that the referrals I provided her have not called her back. She said they have another candidate and they've heard from his referrals. Oh gee thanks, so even if I accept the job offer there's still a chance I will be declined. I told the HR lady I need to think about her offer. She said I need to give an answer to her tomorrow, and added that hopefully she'll hear from my referrals tomorrow as well.

You know, they're really starting to piss me off. I do like this company; I'm trying to appreciate the benefits of working there, but the whole lousy hiring process has made me feel sour about it. They're SO unprofessional and have made several strange decisions. Here's a roundup of all my complaints:

• Did not make it easy to contact HR, multiple call attempts had to be made
• Told me at the last minute about my first interview
• Presented a salary before presenting a job offer (and it was a LOW salary)
• Had to repeatedly state my previous salary
• For the live interview I was only given a time - all other crucial information was not given
• Ran the background check when I'm not even hired yet
• And only offering 1k more than my previous salary? It doesn't seem like they're even trying

In other news, I received a call from a company that I was interviewed by last year. They refused me, but apparently still kept my resume on file. This is a company that gives you rewards for traveling. I have a job interview with them tomorrow; or rather, a re-interview. Naturally, I've discussed ALL of this with my father: Stanton Group's offer and the re-interview. After long discussion we decided that I will tell the traveling rewards company that I have an offer from another company and they want to hear from me later that day. Oh, and I will say it's a 50k offer. How they respond will determine everything. After the re-interview I'm going to call my father to discuss the plan of action and whether or not I will accept Stanton Group's offer. (Note: My father is a boss himself with several degrees. His advice is invaluable and backed up by years of experience.)

■April 15, 2008 - Job interviews!

[Mood:Hopeful] I've had three web design job interviews lately. With: (1) DJ equipment company, (2) porn company, and (3) body armor company.

The DJ equipment company is the Stanton Group. My adventure with this company begins with their tipsy HR lady, Claudia. The picture to the left is what I depict of her; smoking a joint and her head in the clouds. Earlier this month, Claudia gives me a call and I miss it because my phone sucks. I persistently call back for a couple days, only getting Claudia's voice mail. Then I finally get Claudia and she says "Sorry, our network has been down. I'll call you tomorrow to reschedule." - reschedule what?! I didn't get a chance to ask her WTF to reschedule. Of course, Claudia never called the next day. I called her and she said she still isn't ready to reschedule. I asked her "To reschedule what? We haven't spoken yet." She replied to schedule the phone interview. Ooooh the phone interview. Gee thanks, Claudia, for not giving me this important information at the very beginning. Wow. The next day the phone interview was scheduled and it happened days later. It went well, I think. The Stanton guy, Tony, asked me a few questions about web design that I didn't know. Like he wanted to know if I've ever created a website in multiple languages or if I've managed information from dynamic forms. And I'll never forget this: when I told him my desired salary range (a 10k range) he replied "That's a thin line..." - I gave him a freakin 10k range! That line is thicker than a porn star's penis on Viagra! Anyway, Tony said he would contact me the next day if I was considered for live interview. He did contact me, and said the live interview would happen sometime in three weeks. So now three weeks have passed and I heard nothing. I e-mailed the guy on Monday and never got a reply. This morning I called up my favorite HR lady and got her voice mail.

Later I get a call from another company I replied to, a body armor company. This company gave me a phone interview right then and there. During this important phone interview, my favorite HR lady happened to call me. Fuck!! I haven't gotten a call from companies in weeks, and I just so happened to get calls from two companies at the same time. What an unfortunate coincidence. I told the body armor lady "Hey, I have a very important phone call coming in..." and placed her on hold. So with my favorite HR lady, Claudia asked "Did you call me?" - WTF, this lady doesn't check her voice mail! And I remember she did this last time to me! Claudia's starting to really piss me off. I can't help but entertain the idea that I might be hindered from this job because she's so tipsy and unprofessional. There was noise in the background of Claudia's call as if she was driving. After I told her who I was, she said something which I didn't understand due to the background noise and placed me on hold. I waited for a moment, but soon just hung up and embarrassingly switched back to the body armor lady who, fortunately, didn't hang up. She asked me several interesting prospective questions like:

"Do you believe things get accomplished more efficient if more hours are put into it?"
- I pretty much said it depends on the people working on it and the procedures being used, because at times things can be accomplished faster if one has better tools or is doing it differently.

"What makes you want to work for our company?"
- I pretty much said it seems like a great company where I can grow.

"What role do you take in groups? The leadership role? The organizational role?"
- I pretty much said it depends on the people and the project.

"How long will it take for you to make an impact with the company?"
- I pretty much said it depends on the project.

The answer I gave to pretty much every question was 'It depends'. That's how I think; I don't believe in a straight line. I believe the end result of every situation depends on the people involved, the place, and the atmosphere. In other words, just because everyone around you says the sky is blue doesn't automatically mean the sky is always blue. I question the norm. Anyway, the call went well. At the end I apologized again for placing her on hold; I added that a relative is in the hospital and I had to take the call. However, I've already decided to pass down this company. I wasn't even interested in them to begin with. I only applied to their job ad just to see if they would consider me. I made this decision because the company isn't very interesting. I have no interest whatsoever in body armor. I would only be working on their dull bulky website and creating boring graphic design material. I'll be bored out of my mind at this place. One of the main reasons I quit my previous job was to find a more interesting job.

Anyway, later today the Stanton guy, Tony, finally sent me a reply to my e-mail. He apologized for not contacting me sooner and gave me a time for an interview. And for some reason the timeframe is freakin 1:30-4:00 PM! Good god, man! What the heck will they be doing with me in a 2 1/2 hour interview! A test? Wow. Interviews usually last from 20-45 minutes at most. Either that or he meant I can come anytime within 1:30-4:00 PM. I asked him that and I await his reply.

Last week I had an interview with a company that does pornography. Actually, they have multiple telecommunication-related companies, and they distribute porn via a TV service kind of like Tivo and Direct Cable. The interview went well. I arrived on time. The office was kind of messy. The place where the employees sat was an open area, borded by large black tables; no cubicles or real desks. The interview was short. The guy pointed out I was given this interview because he was impressed by my portfolio website. :) This company sounded great. They get a variety of projects so I would be able to build a strong portfolio with them. However, then he told me I would often be working 12-hour shifts! Holy shit!! He said his employees usually work from 11 AM-11 PM. God damn! And my answer to that is "Hell no!!" The guy said he would call me in a week if I was considered for a second interview. If I get the call I will go. I'm curious how much money they would be offering me. But my mind is set to refuse them. Dude, I like what I do, but not to work freakin 60-80 hours a week. I forgot to ask if I'll be paid overtime for it, but hell, either way doesn't matter. I want to have a life! I value my spare time more than gold. I rarely even buy things for myself due to me valuing my spare time more than tangible possessions. The messy office didn't leave a very good impression either.

So yeah, to reiterate, I've already decided to pass down both the body armor company and the porn company. As for the Stranton group, I am indeed interested. The job presents a variety of both web design and graphic design material. Tony promised me I would mostly be designing at this job - an important factor I'm looking for. The company sells music equipment for DJ's. Right now I'm into going to bars and clubs, so club music is something I'm into now. Music is a fun and creative industry, so I think doing web design for them would be fun and interesting.

Oh, and soon after my 3/14 blog entry I finished my portfolio website. :) Since it has my contact information and stuff I can't show it to you. But I prepared a preview page so you can see my layout and the cool little 3D intro. Check it out - click the thumbnail. (Note: None of the links in it work.) You're looking at weeks of work. Just as I said, I typed up a summary for each sample I'm showing off in the "Web Design" and "More Samples" sections. It was especially a good idea to include a "My Art" section. It shows my potential employers that I'm a creative person. That's important to me because my professional work isn't very creative, due to my previous corporate jobs always wanting simple and 'clean' designs from me.

■March 14, 2008 - No bites yet

[Mood:Hopeful] I don't have any bites yet. I called up my old co-worker who owns her own design company. She wasn't available so I left a voice mail offering my services. I called up my brother's friend (who actively freelances in video and design) and got his voice mail; left a message. I have yet to hear from potential clients my friends have told me they would refer to me for a website. Blah.

I've spent the last three days planning how I'll remodel my portfolio website. I also sent my business card to the press! :) It's toward the right. Sexy, eh?

My current portfolio website is a 12fps full Flash site (I would show you but it has my contact info). The beginning intro is a beautiful 3D rendered Flash with a hip tune in the background. You then click on various shifting 3D blocks to browse samples of my designs and art. As beautiful as this website is, it's proven not to be too practical. Here's why:

• I've received more than one comment about the background tune being annoying, even by having a Mute button.

• Twice I had trouble showing my portfolio website to potential employers because the computer they wanted to see it on was slower than molasses, or had a slow internet connection.

• Being a complex Flash, it's not easy to update. If you've worked with Flash you would know what I'm talking about. The more complex a Flash gets, the more time-consuming it is to make any edits.

• I designed it to simply display samples of my work. I've learned that I should accompany my samples with an overview of the project.

So I need to have a strict fast-loading HTML/CSS portfolio site. I definitely want to include some sort of fancy Flash animation. It just needs to be implemented in a way that it won't handicap the site if it's not present.

■March 13, 2008 - Making more money in freelance

[Mood:Intrigued] WOW. This article is awesome! Check it out:

I am predominately a Marketer who has been sucked into the world of Web Design pretty quickly. I know nothing about designing pages, I have a designer who is excellent though.

My advice is this...never, ever charge by how long it will take. Don't charge by how skilled you are. And certainly don't charge less than the competition. Charge more...usually lots more. I base my charges on how much I think the client will pay.

We win 95% of all the jobs for and I can just about guarantee we are the most expensive every time. People do not assess you on your skill or programming level, they don't assess you on your creative genius, they don't assess your design ability (They usually don't have the technical expertise to judge that stuff anyway). The only thing the client is interested in is: can you do the job. And, more importantly, is going with you as the designer going to be less risky than going with someone else.

I'll give you an example. We won a job a couple of weeks ago for $17,000. We were up against two other designers. The other quotes were for $3,000 and $3,500. So why did we get the job?

Are we better qualified? Nope

Would we finish the site quicker? Nope

Are we better designers? Probably not

Do we live closer to the client? Nope

Is the client my dad? Good question, but no!

I'll go through what we do so you can see exactly why we got the job and continue to get jobs at a premium price.

1) The client rings the office and tells me he wants a web site. I make an appointment for 3 days time.

2) As soon as I'm off the phone I send a "Thanks for the call" letter confirming the time and place of the meeting. We include a business card. The client receives it the next day.

3) We do as much research on the potential client as possible. Down to when the company started, products, people in the firm, etc. Takes a couple of hours.

3) I arrive on time to the meeting wearing a perfect blue suit, blue tie (That's the client's corporate colors). I'm carrying my beautiful leather briefcase. I open the conversation with some small talk and tell the potential client what an awful weekend I had because I shot a 85 on the ABC Golf Course. He says "Really, I'm a member there. I love golf." Gee, what a co-incidence that is.

4) We finish the small talk and get onto business. I bring out a manila folder with his name, position, business name and logo on a sticker on the front. Also evident is the time and date of the meeting. From this I pull out a 6 page 'Assessment Form' for his needs and wants. We go through this meeting and I make notes as we go on my lovely fountain pen.

5) After an hour long meeting I thank him for his time, tell him I'll be in touch on Thursday and leave.

6) Back at the office I draft the "Thank you for your time" letter and post it off.

7) On Thursday at 9 am I ring and let the prospect know that we have reviewed his needs and wants and have a draft ready. We need to go over the draft to "ensure I have everything straight in my head" and I make an appointment for 3 days time. I send off a letter confirming that appointment.

8) I rock up to the next meeting with the overview of what his needs are and what we need to do together to achieve them I toss in a few case studies of previous clients to show we have a complete understanding of what he requires. The client says "Yep, that's about what we need." I say when do you need our quote by and the client says "It's quite urgent, so the middle of the week." I promise it to the client by Wednesday at 4 p.m.

9) The client gets another "Thank you for your time" letter.

10) On Tuesday at 9.30 am the client receives the quote from us via courier with a note that says it is early because he needed it as a matter of urgency so we worked on it over the weekend to have it ready.

11) The quote is actually a 30 page nicely bound proposal that reiterates his needs and wants and shows how the site will address these. It includes testimonials from previous clients (with contact numbers), proposed flow charts and a timetable of exactly what would happen and when. We have profiles on the team members who would be working on the site, the FAQ section has 20 of our most common questions and answers and we include copies of computer magazine articles that have reviewed our previous sites.

We also include a CD-ROM with examples of our previous sites.

12) I visited the prospect as promised and ask if he has any questions regarding the proposal. WE THEN ASK FOR THE JOB..."Well John, would you like us to work with you on this project?"

13) When he said "Yes" we send him a "Thanks for choosing us" letter, along with our first invoice (50%). We include a Reply Paid envelope for our check to go in.

14) I sent the person who referred this client a "Thanks for the referral" letter and then took him and his wife out for a very nice dinner.

15) Then we didn't do what we said we would...we did a heap more. Extra 2 pages, a bit of Flash on the site, and one or two other things.

16) When the site was finished I took the client out for lunch and thanked him for the assistance with the project, what a pleasure to work with a professional, etc. I gave him a gift of a framed photo we had scanned and put on the site (of the business' founder - they only had the 1 photo of the founder). I sent flowers and chocolates to the Graphic Artist who had been a help to us.

After we started work I found out that the other two firms quoting never met with the client. They took the details over the phone in a 10 minute conversation. Both provided a one page quote a week later. One of them hand delivered it wearing a pair of gardening shorts.

The reason we got the job: mostly we were perceived as less risk than the others. They may well be better designers, quicker designers, etc...but the client doesn't perceive that. Also, the way we develop the relationship and the way the client perceives us as having a very thorough and working knowledge of the obstacles facing their Internet strategies helps. And clients do tend to associate lower price with lower quality.

Take a stab in the dark TJ and guess who the client has just signed up to keep their site up to date, submitted to the engines, etc at a very, very healthy fee?!!

Don't charge by the hour, don't charge based on what everyone else charges, charge what you think the client will pay someone of your (perceived) professionalism.

Lol wow, that's like, conning people but in a fair way. It's genius; it makes perfect sense. It makes so much sense it makes my head explode when I see how easily I can apply this knowledge to everything else I've learned. The key idea is reducing risk. So if I'm to be more successful, I need to focus on improving my ability to show the other person I can get the job done the way they want it.

■March 12, 2008 - Quit my job!!

[Mood:Excited] YES! I did it! I'm done with my job. On 2/26 I turned in my two weeks notice. Today is my first day of freedom. So why did it do it? I shall tell.

If you've kept up with my blog you would know already how much I've hated this job. I've explained that it's insulting, boring and just overall annoying. But what I haven't mentioned yet is that I learned it was a dead-end job. It wasn't a waste looking for a new job for the past 8 months. The experience of all the job interviews I went through taught me a great deal about my industry. I've always known portfolio is a priority for a designer, but I learned it was TOP priority. I need to redo my portfolio site pronto and emphasize on my previous work history. I especially need to describe projects I've worked on instead of just post a preview of the design. This is why I concluded that my current job was a dead-end job. And my corporate job before this one was a dead-end job. I need a job where I can fill up my portfolio with impressive and relevant work. I haven't been able to find that, so I need to rely on freelance. Yep, it's time for me to do freelance for a while. Yeah the market is bad, but that just means there's more freelance.

I learned the importance of having my own websites up my sleeve - I'm a web designer with no websites! It's as if potential employers are asking me "So you're a web designer. Give me five live websites you've made!" and all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say "Sorry, I've just been working in corporate web design jobs."

This decision to leave my current job without another job in line is a definite risk. But it's a risk I must take. I want to make more money as the next person does. According to my circumstances and everything I've learned, this plan is what I must do in order to get further as a designer and make more money.

I had to defy my family to do this. I've wanted to quit my job many times before. Each time, my family insisted that I don't quit. I listened to them every time, and I remained miserable. My family is very much work oriented and everyone is successful. Security is a priority for them. So for me to take make a move without security, they all persistently insisted not to quit. From the first night I told them up to the morning that I would turn in my notice, all my immediate family insisted that I don't do this. But, ya know, sometimes you need to stand up for what you believe is right and follow your own path. My family doesn't understand the design world. I want to be happy and make more money. I believe this plan is what I must do in order to accomplish that goal.

■March 11, 2008 - Warmongers return

[Mood:Annoyed] I once talked about "warmongers" in my 2/1/06 entry. It's a name I've given to people who are angry at the world. To them, the right way is their way. They like to start arguments and shove their ideas in peoples' faces. But never have I come across a warmonger who's also a compulsive liar who likes to trick people. I will refer to this character as "Franky". The traditional warmonger doesn't necessarily go around wanting to start a dispute. Franky does. To him it's entertainment to annoy people, provoke them, and play games with them. In other words, a bully. And what are bullies? They're insecure people with serious problems in their life.

Franky has been spamming my board for over a year. I ban him and block him, and each time he eludes the bans and returns. Unlike a traditional spammer, he seems to really enjoy my board, as he has signed up pretending to be a different person and participated like a normal user. However, he can't do that for long and feels compelled to stir things up, provoke people and spam the board again. He also cannot resist pretending to be someone else for long, eventually revealing that he is Franky, as if saying "Hahaha it's me Franky! I've been this fake person all along! Hate me hate me!" This has been the cycle. And the sad part is that he's kept it up for over a year. This guy is seriously fucked up in the head and has nothing better to do.

Two weeks ago I upgraded my board to a better one. Franky took advantage of the move and stole the identity of two inactive long-respected moderators (people who help me police the board). The first time around he was successful and incidentally I granted him the moderator rank under his imposter username. With his ability to view the private discussion with my other moderators, he had a blast playing games with us. However, as mentioned above, he can't resist pretending to be someone else for long.

So why is he doing this? How can he be so persistent to be an annoying prick for so long? I don't know for sure, and haven't really cared to know. He's posted all sorts of nonsense and I just skimmed through it. But so far I gather he's just jealous. Isn't Franky pathetic? Not even, "pathetic" isn't low enough to describe him. Spamming for so long and pretending to be respected board members is the worst. He has serious issues, no social skills and obviously some sort of mental disorder. I don't think he has a conscious either, pulling these low acts with no remorse. With all the information in my records I've reported him to as many institutions I know of.

■February 27, 2008 - Silly Women: Part 3

[Mood:Amused] There's a black lady who sits in the 'cubicle annex' right next to mine. She spends most of her day talking on the phone and I love it, because if it gets too quiet I lose my mind. Her personality is very black, and you'll see that in my logs of her various quotes:

"Have mercy! That girl has an overbite - she has teeth over teeth!"
"I'm about to call Boyz II Men and tell them dumbasses something!"
"It's all about the money. All I see is an ugly ass daddy!"
"I have no more medication for the weekend... too bad"
"My momma always said don't get a second job - get a second man!"
"She's got so many damn children. I was about to cuss her out yesterday! I'll kick her ass before anyone else does!"
"I pay $95 a week for that kid to learn something!"
"What are you talking about? Someone at the hotel saw Jesus or something?"
"You better eat that peanut butter and jelly sandwich and run!"
"That flea market has a Popeye's Chicken and everything!"
"I was born in the back of my momma's car, foul!"
"He's a Scientologist? I'll silence his tologist!"
"The man on the radio ate four pieces of chicken this morning! That's greedy"
"How do you know how a cow sounds in heat?!"
"What?! They want to deduct my money for a foundation?! -I- need to get a foundation!"
"I gotta go to QVC to get me some medication!" (Note: It's called CVS)
"Giiirl, I'm just refresherin your memory."
"It sound like she got a retarded problem."
(Picks up phone) "Ooh Lord take the static out of my ears."
(Picks up phone and sings) "Peanut butter jelly! Hello!"
"Ooh Lord I don't know what kind of zodiac sign that is there."
"These voice mail things get on my nerve."
"Girl, just sit back, watch TV and relax your nerve."
"I wanna go see me some fine mens."
"Ooh Lord I'd drop dead for a piece of chicken."
"At the sound of the tone, you are on your own."
"I forget what I'm going to tell her. My brain is gone."
"Giirl, I need to slap a perm in my hair real quick."
"Oh!! You scared me there with all that hair!"
"If I had a son like that I'd throw his ass out the window."
"Chinese people made that so be careful with it."
(Someone sneezed) "Oh bless ya, honey!"
"Wal-mart doesn't do layaway anymore!"
"Who got a gun?"
"I like to go to Knee-man Marcus, or whoever the fuck he is"
"My momma went to school. All I know is that she ate at the cafeteria."
"That woman lives right next to the Everglades! She has cheetahs and deers in her back yard."
"He's a good doctor - you see him on TV!"
"That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. THAT'S MARVELOUS!"
"He's a natural born trip!"
"If you want some ass go call yo momma!"
"If you ask me about that again I will SLAP you right on the ground!"
"You gettin on my nerve!"
"You campfeuds me."
"It's better than chicken and peanut butter."
"He can't find another woman like me. Who else is going to spend the money to get 'em out of jail?"
"My keyboard iz deseftiz! The C don't wurk!"
"Tell your husband the police are coming to pick him up."

■February 6, 2008 - What is drama?

[Mood:In thought] What is drama? Drama is:

1. Name calling & degrading - Putting people down is immature and just makes things worse.

2. Never admitting fault - Most, if not all, social situations are caused by a mere misunderstanding. To some degree, everyone must admit fault. Situations are resolved by a mutual understanding.

3. Quick judgments - Judging the other person solely based on the immediate evidence is the worst thing to do in a situation.

4. Not letting go - Remaining angry with the issue isn't good for mental health.

5. Condemning a group - Blaming a group of people, scene, or stereotype is a very bad thing to do. It's popular these days to blame "the scene". For example, saying something like "You're a jerk just like the rest of them! I don't want any part of you people!" Whatever situation that happened while partaking in "the scene" can also happen in the workplace, at school, at home, etc. Any type of social situation can happen anywhere. Assuming dramatic people only belong to a specific group is close-minded.

6. Removing, blocking, breaking contact - Spitefully removing the other person from your Myspace, blocking them from AOL messenger or flat-out breaking contact is a childish thing to do. If someone feels compelled to do this then that means the problem was never resolved.

What isn't drama? It's:

1. Talking about the problem - Adults discuss the issue, not what's wrong with the other person.

2. Asking why - It is very important to understand the reasons why the other person did what they did.

3. Forgive and forget - Forgiving the other person and having confidence that they learned their lesson.

■January 8, 2008 - So 2008 begins

[Mood:Pissy] So how does my 2008 begin? It begins hating my job! Oooooh boy do I still hate my job. I hate it with all of my body and soul. Every day it gets more difficult to get up to drive here. It gets more and more difficult to pretend to be enthusiastic. It's getting more difficult to protect my mental health from the negative outlook this job has given me. It's made me so lazy. It's gotten to the point that it's even difficult to slack off, or get up to get water. I'm so brain dead (hence the mind-numbing pixie in the drawing). I loath coming here. The worst thing about this job is the free time. It's not as great as it may sound. It gives me plenty of time to think about how much I hate this job. It's eating me away. I feel like I'm tied to a blazing desert floor as buzzards pick at my flesh. At the very least, it seems like job leads are slightly on the rise. The market was practically dead when the holiday season passed through.

In December I had a plan to quit after New Years and do freelance work and work on my portfolio site during my job search. Money-wise it's a risky idea, but I'm confident in my abilities. However, my whole family was against the idea so I ended up not doing it.

College seems like such a distant memory. Ah college, the era that which my ego was boosted on a regular basis. The time when I was praised as the best or one of the best in each class. At times even in my first web design job after college I was given similar praise and ego boosting. Now... nothing. No praise. No compliments. No rewards of any type. Just work. Endless boring work. I don't feel special or valuable at all. I feel like a brain dead robot.

In lighter news, it would seem the scale has been tipped between work life and social life. As my work situation declines and gets worse, my social life gets better. Thanks to Christmas and New Years, I was given two wonderful 4-day weekends. These weekends were more valuable to me than gold. What was even better was the fact that these weekends meant two short work weeks. The following is what I did.

HOLIDAY WEEKEND #1
Friday 12/21: A fun, regular night at our favorite bar, Bill's.
Saturday 12/22: Keith's birthday dinner at Olive Garden, then a small gathering at Mikey's house. We watched Hairspray.
Sunday 12/23: My friend Richard came over. We talked about nerdy stuff and played video games. It was great.
Monday 12/24: Spent Christmas Eve with most of my closest friends. It was great. I treated them to Boston Market dinner.
Tuesday 12/25: I think this is when I saw I Am Legend with Mikey and co. I don't remember exactly.

HOLIDAY WEEKEND #2
Thursday 12/27: Went to bars again.
Friday 12/28: Had an awesome time at a club called Azucar.
Saturday 12/29: Drove to Orlando with family. In the evening we saw Cirque Du Soleil. I loved it.
Sunday 12/30: Went to Disney's Animal Kingdom with family.
Monday 12/31: Spent New Years bar hopping with some of my closest friends. I had a great time.
Tuesday 1/01: Hung out with Derrick and went to see Aliens vs. Predator 2.

HOLIDAY WEEKEND #3
Friday 1/4: It was awesome! TONS of my friends gathered at Bill's.
Saturday 1/5: A fun movie night at Mikey's.
Sunday 1/6: Dinner and alcohol with a few good friends at a bar by the beach. Good times.

All this love from my friends moved me. I looked back on the year of 2007 and realized the best moments of my life happened this year. Lately I've been feeling very appreciative for the people in my life right now. I feel lucky. However, it's difficult to maintain this warm feeling during the week when my job is making me miserable. I miss working with human beings.

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