December 19, 2003 - Putting down newbs is wrong
[Mood:Pissy]  The emulation scene is so mean to people who are new to vg emulation; in other words, newbies.  People treat newbies like idiots.  I'll post some examples for you to see what I mean.  Here are some made-up people that will be participating in my examples:

dark_knight = the typical impatient person who always puts down the newb.
iwillhax0rju = the typical person who just posts URLs, expecting the newb to put 2 and 2 together to figure out things for themselves.
rpgdreamer = the typical webmaster of an emulation website.

Now on with the examples:

Newbie: "How can I get <name of game> to work?"
dark_knight: "GET AN EMULATOR!"
iwillhax0rju: "www.zsnes.com"
rpgdreamer: "READ THE FAQ!"

Newbie: "I downloaded <name of game>'s R0M but nothing happens"
dark_knight: "uuuh ooookay some detail would help"
iwillhax0rju: (doesn't reply)
rpgdreamer: "READ THE FAQ!"

And so on and so forth.  If people don't have any patience for newbies then they shouldn't bother with them.  They also need to understand that other people think different than we do.  We can't force them to read the whole FAQ or any other help section.  People go on the Internet to relax, they don't feel like reading a lot.  They just want some quick help to get their issue over with so they can play the game they're looking forward to.  They can't be blamed for feeling that way because we would most likely feel the same way if we were in their shoes.  Many times they don't even know a FAQ is available.  Yelling at them for not taking the time to thoroughly look around will just needlessly make things worse.  I, on the other hand, always have helped people to the best of my ability.  I've helped even the most computer illiterate people get started with emulation.  I want to help people so much that I created Video Game Emulation for Newbies.  People ask me questions already answered in my site all the time.  Sometimes I just copy & paste the answer(s) while other times I just give them the URL of the page that has their answer, without saying "OMFG YOU'RE SUCH A LAZY BUFOON!!1!"

December 1, 2003 - An evil cloud has engulfed us all
[Mood:Worried/Argumentative]  There have been persistent arguments in all of the forums I frequently visit. x_x  In one forum, some jerk who kicked me off a hub for a stupid reason found me.  This is it:
(words like this are my thoughts)

Blood: "if my memory servers me right, didnt you get booted from necarchives?"
Me: "I was on a hub once, but I don't remember if it was Necarchives specifically. The booting was a result of a misunderstanding. The people I was talking to were immature and didn't understand the concept of constructive criticism, so they needlessly took offense to my words."
Blood: "lol as it happens it was necarchives and were not childish bud, goto the forum and ask valermoss if ya can be added again and we will talk, it was me you had the miss-understanding with"
Someone else: "Ooooooooooh. What happened Blood?"
(hrm, I better answer this before Blood does)
Me: "Basically, he thought I was bad-mouthing the head of the forum and really got offended by my words, so he booted me from the hub. He didn't even give me a warning of the boot, he just did it out of the blue. If I had received a warning then I would've realized the severity of how much he misunderstood my words, so then I would've tried to clear things up. Anyway, I just gave up and left after that because the experience gave me a really bad impression of the community. How would you like it if someone got a completely different impression from your thoughts, and then boot you out of nowhere for it?"
Blood: "ok i apologies if you got a bad impression of us, were not horrible nasty ppl , were pretty cool , im just the arse in the group"
(apology not accepted since you didn't accept mine)
Me: "The point is that you're a bad representative of Necarchives and that you have poor management skills. I hope for the sake of Necarchives' reputation that they never grant you a higher status in the community."
(amen)
Mod: "Amitrius, criticism is great, bitching is not. As one of the dedicated operatives of NEC Archives, Blood has recognized being hasty in his judgement towards you (shit happens, indeed) and sincerely apologized to you. He even has offered you to contact them so you can be added to the hub again. You should accept his apologies and leave it at that. On the other hand, it's fine if you don't feel inclined to do so because of the 'prejudice' you seem to have suffered from. But it's not a reason to insist on Blood's so-called bad managing skills here, especially after he said he was sorry for being a bit quick on the trigger. If for some reason you still have a real problem with him, I strongly urge you to settle your score in private. Weren't you the one to talk about being open-minded?"
(shoo mod, shoo! let me embarrass Blood)
Blood: "thanks kam, im not gonan start any trouble, i said sorry and thats that, amtrius17 if ya wanna mail me, ya can and we will talk some more"
(I prefer to continue to taint your reputation)
Me: "I apologized to Blood after the incident anyway, and he did not accept it. He was like "yeah, whatever. go back to Rigg." What reason do I have to accept his apology now?"
Mod: "Well seems that s going nowhere, so i m closing the thread now. Feel free to continue this discuss via pm or mail if you wish or just ignore you."

...and then he locked it. =P  My goal was attained anyway, the seriousness of Blood's past mistake was brought to the attention of the people in that forum.  Blood has not posted in the forum since.  In another forum, there was a "gay marriages" thread, and several homophobes replied to it with nonsense.  Here are some quotes:

"But seriously this may sound extreamly prejudice but gay people are one of the tops on my list of people hear to entertain us. All homosexuality is is a mental disorder. Anything that causes one to think against the normal human nature it a mental disorder. All mammals are attracted naturally to the opposite sex because of the need to reproduce. Sex was only meant for reproduction and the pleasure that comes with it is only a means of encouragement (this is the truth although i dont really follow it yet). In closing Man + Woman = natural human desires, Thinking against this = mental problem, Mental prob. - suffering of course = entertainment for me...get it?"
(Complete, utter nonsense. This guy needs to stop basing his facts off of TV.)

"There, so far, are 37 states in U.S. that have prohibited gay marraige. HOPEFULLY it stays this way."
(He says that as if the world is going to end if gay marriages are allowed. Canada, Japan, and other countries allow gay marriages. Do you see them declining into chaos because of it? No.)

"Tell me this people. Do you want your children to grow up to be gay? Didnt think so."
(He says that as if there's a way to control someone's sexual preference. In some cases, perhaps, but for everyone else it cannot be controlled because its in-born.)

"If this was allowed, gays would most likly be kissing in public since it would be alright to be gay. Does anyone wanna see that? Once again I didnt think so."
(That has nothing to do with it. Gays who want to kiss in public already do it.)

"I think that if that was happening kids would think its alright. They would have more of a chance to be gay, and it would spread like a disease."
(While he's at it, he might as well say "You better not touch a homosexual or else you'll become one yourself from the cooties!")

"gay marriage is gross. How can someone of the same gender love one another. i am totaly against gays getting marryd. it is gross to see two guys or two girls kissing in public. i don't even wanna imagine them haveing intercourse. gross gross gross gross"
(Watch out for the gay cooties!)

...I never participated in the argument until the very end.  I said my peace in one post.  No one replied, I suppose my post concluded the argument.  Here it is:

Everything is connected, nature and life revolves around that. It is a fact that anyone who frequently thinks about life can easily understand. (Its also a fact that people in advertising are aware of because a good understanding of it is what creates successful advertising campaigns. ^^;; )

The polar opposite of heterosexual is homosexual. Heterosexuals are born that way, so homosexuals are born that way as well. Some homosexuals somehow switch to heterosexual, while some heterosexuals somehow switch to homosexual. These people who switch sexualities either go to their in-born sexuality (where they should've been in the first place), or lie to themselves, forcing a false sexuality. Its not that hard to understand. There can never be just one thing, our universe wouldn't allow it. Of course, depending on how you look at it (on & off, left & right), the polar opposite of heterosexual could also be asexual (not attracted to anything). Asexuals exist in this world too. Some are true asexuals, while others switched to it from another sexuality. If you're saying to yourself "no no no its impossible for people to be born homosexual and asexual, the only true sexuality is heterosexual!". As I have said already, our universe could never allow just one thing, everything is connected. If you can't understand that, then I recommend meditation. Its a good way to naturally educate yourself about life.

How would you feel if you thought about being attracted to the same sex? You would most likely feel totally disgusted with such a thought. You know you would never walk down that path ever in your life. In the inverse, homosexuals feel that exact same way when they think about being attracted to the opposite sex.

Btw, homosexuality was removed from the psychiatric manual of mental disorders in 1973. If (for some odd reason) you don't believe me, research the NARTH website because you will find this fact there as well.

FYI, NARTH is a website that the homophobes were using as "hard proof" that their assumptions were true.  It turns out that Narth is not a valid resource.  Anyway, in another forum, the web mistress of Flying Omelete's Kitchen (an excellent classic gaming site) was talking about quitting. :(  Saying such things as she thinks her reviews are terrible and doubting if its worth it to continue.  Its definitely worth it!  Classic gaming sites are a dying breed on the net.  Each one is very important with keeping the legacy of classic gaming alive on the net.  Recently she seems to be a bit more lively so her doubt may be passing.  And then there are some other quarrels in other forums (that aren't worth mentioning), I hope this evil cloud that has engulfed us all passes.

November 30, 2003 - More on Macs, Part II
[Mood:Enthusiastic]  Actually, I was just really frustrated when I typed up my entry for October 31st. =P  I don't think Macs are that bad.  Here is a more accurate review of the Mac OS:

Video Game Emulation
- SNES. Much like the Windows version of Snes9X, the Mac version does not emulate sound and music at a near-perfect level. It displays the darker end of gradients in a distorted way. It refuses to render the screen whenever a high resolution font is used (Seiken Densetsu 3, Treasure of the Rudras, Romancing SaGa 3), which results in the screen constantly enabling/disabling the screen render. It still lacks full Super FX support.
- Mame. I love MacMame more than the Windows version. I think its easier to use and organized better.
- CD-based gaming. The available PSX emulator has terrible compatibility. I am especially disappointed that there are no available emulators yet for Sega CD and TG16-CD.
- Everything else. I am disatisfied with all of Richard Bannister's emulators. They offer little features and I've encountered tons of game-specific bugs.

Music
- I love iTunes! It truly is the best for playing MP3s. Whole albums for only $9.99! Though I get most of my songs for free by checking out music CDs from the public library.
- I mostly listen to video game music via SPCs, NSFs, PSFs, etc. The only available player for Mac, Audio Overload, is very simple and has little features. Plus it is lacking support for other formats like 68000 MDX, TurboGrafx16 HES and Playstation PSF. I very much prefer WinAmp for Windows. Plugins of every video game music format are available for it so it can play anything I want.
- Mac has something Windows does not have at all, and that is M1 Arcade Player, a program that can play the full soundtrack of any arcade game. I am very happy with it!

Programs
- Excluding professional design programs, I am very disatisfied with what Mac has to offer. FTP programs, DVD players, image viewers, CD burners, file compressors... they are all simple and offer little features.
- AOL for Mac is severely outdated.
- Safari still has bugs and does not yet have support for all forms of HTML and java. For example, setting up an auction on eBay is missing several things.
- I love Quicktime! I loved it even more after installing the DivX plugin.
- "Grab" is nifty.

The OS itself
- The startup group is the cause of most of the software-related problems with Windows, and Mac doesn't have one, so its easy to say that its more stable than Windows. However, experiencing the Mac over a long period of time had led me to think otherwise. Most of the lock-ups I've encountered have been rock solid, forcing me to manually restart. Though I have experienced lock-ups like this in Windows too. I think both Windows and Mac are generally the same when it comes to stability.
- I like it that you just need to click on a file to rename it, but, most of the time, I do not need to be renaming a file! >< Its so annoying when I click to open a file and I accidentally click on the file name which results in the rename feature being activated.
- I love that 'tree view' feature (er whatever its called) when browsing folders. But I do miss the feature of Windows that lists files in multiple columns.
- The dock is AWESOME. Its definitely much better than clicking on "start" then having to browse through the list of programs. The only drawback is that the dock gets crowded quite easily. I've had to move all my vg emulator shortcuts to the desktop.

Printers
- I've just had to plug in the printer's USB chord and BAM its installed. O_O That's amazing! With Windows you would need to install the printer's drivers and all that jazz to get it to work.

Display & Graphics
- Squishing 1024x768 into a 800x600-like size was a great idea! The graphics are nice and sharp and crisp. I like it very much.

iBook specific
- I love it that it tells you how much time you have left with the battery. My Windows laptop doesn't do that.
- The TV chord is great! I have to go through a lot more steps to set up my Windows laptop to the TV.
- The speakers are crap.

Conclusion
- I am generally satisfied with the Mac OS and look forward to using it with my future career in the field of design. However, when it comes to personal use, I definitely will not use Mac as my preferred OS. Having it as a secondary computer is good enough.

I posted this in a Mac vg emulation forum.  I learned many things from doing that.  First of all, most Mac-users really love Mac.  Their intense passion for it makes them hot-heated and quickly oppose those who say anything negative about it.  Fortunately, I typed up my review very carefully, using phrases like "I am dissatisfied with..." instead of "it SUCKS", so I did not appear to be an immediate threat.  Only one person negatively replied with a "OMG WTF! OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" kind of post.  All the other people who replied negatively were the actual authors of the various Mac vg emulators.  Although their tone was more along the lines of concern as to why I thought that way.  I had no idea this Mac vg emulation forum was that popular for the authors of the vg emulators to be there.  They were eager for more information from me, so I typed up a book pretty much, putting down in detail every area of dissatisfaction I felt with their vg emulators.  As a result, the famous Richard Bannister made some favorable alterations to this vg emulators (fyi, Richard Bannister is responsible for most of Mac's vg emulators).  I hope my review was an eye-opener for them.  It seems few have shown opposition for what Mac has to offer with vg emulation.  The Mac community definitely revolves around the emperor's new clothes concept.  I fear its current status of vg emulation will not improve much.  Windows will remain the ideal OS for vg emulation enthusiasts.

October 31, 2003 - More on Macs
[Mood:Annoyed]  I'm so sick and tired of being hopeful for things to improve with Macs. >_<  They're terrible when it comes to personal use.  I'll describe my thoughts in each area.
»Music.  Mac's default music player is iTunes.  It takes about 30 seconds to load up with my 800 Mhz iBook.  Plus there's a couple-second wait when you double-click a song to play with iTunes.  I'm so used to using WinAmp, which loads up in a blink and plays songs immediately when you double-click on them.  Mac-lovers praise iTunes as if it was a God.  One of iTune's features is the music store, where you can purchase all the MP3s of almost any album for $9.99.  That isn't useful to me because I mostly listen to video game music.  The only way to play SPC/NSF/GYM music is to use something called Audio Overload.  Its a very simple player with no features. :\  It sucks.  Plus it doesn't have PSF support.  I'm hearing that a new player is being worked on that will offer more features and PSF support.  I'm not looking forward to it at all.  Besides, I've already converted all my favorite PSF archives to MP3 so I can play them on the iBook.
»VG Emulation.  Sucks.  Sucks VERY much.  Mac is light years behind what Windows has to offer.  There's Snes9X for Mac, it has inaccurate sound emulation just like the Windows version.  It still doesn't have full Super FX support.  Besides that, it does run very well.  There's MacMame, which is actually pretty good, its the only Mac vg emu that I don't have anything against.  And then there's everything else.  Everything else SUCKS.  All the available vg emulators have very little features and are still loaded with game-specific bugs.  The Genesis emulator, Genesis Plus, has the frame skip so high that it makes me dizzy after 10 minutes, my iBook isn't fast enough to handle it.  Consider how good Snes9X runs, Genesis Plus must be poorly programmed to require a faster computer to run efficiently.  The available PSX emulator hardly works and I hear only a few games actually run on it.  The available N64 emulator can only run a few games.  There has yet to be a Sega CD emulator and no one intends to make one.  The makers of MagicEngine promise the upcoming Mac release will have TG16-CD support, but they are taking eternity working on this release.  They rarely ever update their page with news.  They ignore me whenever I ask for an update in the forum.  I am a paying customer (I registered for MagicEngine) and they just ignore me.  What great people they are. :\
»Mac Programs.  I've downloaded all the programs that Mac-lovers praise as the best, and they totally suck.  For example, the FTP program known as Transmit, it barely has any features.  It sucks.  And then there's Stuff It, the program that allows you to compress and extract WinZip files.  It has no features at all.  It sucks.  Right now there's only 2 DVD players, the default Mac DVD player and something called VLC.  Again, they barely have any features.  Things like Rewind and Fast Forward have to be accessed in the drop-down menus.  There aren't any key shortcuts to them.  Its such a hassle using Mac programs! >_<  And then there's Safari, Mac's own prized Internet browser.  It still has a looong way to go in the area of web page compatibility.  Its almost as screwy as Gozilla.
»The Mac OS itself.  I'll give it credit for not having a startup group.  That's the fatal flaw of Windows that is the source of the majority of its software problems.  There are several annoying things with the Mac OS.  In folders, the "list view" can only list files in 1 column.  I have tons of files in my folders, I need my files listed in multiple columns!  Argh.  Renaming a file is very easy with the Mac OS.  Simply click on a file and you can rename it.  That sounds all well and good, but what about when you don't want to rename a file, which is MOST OF THE TIME!  ITS SO FUCKING ANNOYING WHEN YOU CLICK TO OPEN A FILE AND THEN IT WANTS YOU TO RENAME IT!
»Overall.  Macs are great when it comes to design.  All the special effects in today's movies are created on a Mac.  I definitely praise Mac when it comes to my future profession because I will heavily rely on its superiority to design.  However, MACS SUCK FOR PERSONAL USE.  As mentioned with the vg emulators and the Mac programs, Mac programs (excluding the professional design programs) barely have any features.  They suck horribly.  I often wonder how Mac-lovers can live with themselves.  All the programs they praise, the ones available for Windows offer much more features and run much more efficiently.  I've been visiting a Mac vg emulation forum lately.  I noticed that everyone keeps on bringing up Virtual PC (a program that can run Windows OS's while you're using a Mac).  They heavily rely on it because Mac severely lacks in the personal-use department, yet they still persist with loving and praising Mac like a God.  I pity them. :P

October 14, 2003 - Reviewers
[Mood:Argumentative]  There's this forum I go to with a bunch of gamers who are obsessed with examining every aspect of gaming.  Most particularly, they are obsessed with writing long, detailed reviews on classic video games.  These people bring up interesting topics half the time, and other times its just silly that they take the time to talk about such little details about a game, book or movie.  Sometimes that bothers me because I know they’re probably disgusted with the way I write up game reviews.  I'm not a picky person when it comes to games and movies so I’m not capable of writing long, detailed reviews. :\  I feel a little left out sometimes, but then I remind myself of the person I would need to become to be like that. >_<  I like being able to easily like things.  It makes it easy for me to enjoy life and to have a wide variety of friends.  So what if my game reviews can be summed up as “this game just rules – go play it now!” :P  I don’t know what else to say.  If I were to force some detail out of that, then it would just be “The storyline rules. The battle system rules. The characters rule. The music rules. The graphics/animation rules.”  …so its much easier for me to just say “this game just rules!” because I truly mean it in every way.

September 28, 2003 - Cloud of Dullness
[Mood:Bleh]  Blehhh.  The cloud of dullness is hovering over me again.  It halts the universe, causing nothing new to happen so my life can be boring. >_<  This cloud had haunted me most of the summer.  It went away for a while, but now it has returned.  I haven't been playing games much since I beat Treasure of the Rudras.  Just playing bits and pieces of some of my favorite SNES games on my iBook.  I'm still rox0ring in school as usual.  The teachers praise my work more than others.  Yeah.  I saw Underworld.  Its cool.  Reminds me of Blade.  That's all that's been happening.  No new worthwhile translation news.  No new worthwhile emulation news.  Ugh, go away evil cloud of dullness!

September 15, 2003 - Forum Bliss
[Mood:Happy]  My forum is turning out to be quite the happy place. ^_^  Its grown to be somewhat popular.  Even the famous ChrisRPG signed up with it!  He's a well known member of the translation scene.  Right now he's working on the FF6 Re-translation and Slayers RPG!  Thanks to him, my Classic Gaming forum is turning into a translation scene backdoor. O_O  He's been giving us the secret scoop with his projects and some others of other groups.  I feel so honored that he has decided to regularly visit. =D  Here's a really big person of the translation scene - an internet celebrity!  This is like, equivalent to Madonna coming to your door regularly, asking if you have a cup of sugar or some eggs to spare. :P  Aside from the forum, I'm sooo happy that I finally completed my Treasure of the Rudras site.  I beat the game recently too.  Its really good!  Though the final boss has like 1,000,000,000,000 HP. ><  I'm glad that things are turning out better for me now.  I just stumbled out of several weeks of bad luck.  I got cheated twice on eBay, I got cheated twice at a website, the air conditioning in my car went out, I got a bad experience with one of the mods at a forum I've been going to, I discovered a major weakness with my ability to present myself (in real life) that will dramatically effect my artistic success in the future if I don't improve on it, and some other things.  I swear, I had a black cloud of bad luck following me the past several weeks.

August 28, 2003 - Banishment
[Mood:Disappointed]  I was forced to ban one of my moderators. :(  I didn't want to, but he was causing too much of a raucous.  The whole situation started with me questioning his methods.  He was telling me "I'm the only mod who does anything!" - but that's what worried me.  You see, my forum is still small and so tame.  There really isn't much mod stuff to do yet.  Knowing he was actively doing all sorts of mod stuff when I see no need for it worried me.  Then he started getting really pushy about accepting his point of view about making my rules strict.  He wanted strict rules like scolding people who post small phrases or poor spelling/grammar, restricting all advertising to the advertising forum, scolding people who post threads with a similar topic from previous ones, putting restrictions on content in signatures, locking/deleting threads that any of us think are stupid, etc.  Then the situation starting heating up a bit.  He decided to make our dispute public instead of resolving it in private.  That wasn't a nice thing to do, but even then, I was still willing to forgive him.  All he wanted me to do was accept his point of view, so I attempted to show him that I would.  Unfortunately, I was too late because he had already decided to end our friendship over this petty little rule dispute.  He started getting really rude and sour in the forum, so I was forced to ban him.  Then he pestered me through AIM, still forcing me to accept his point of view.  He wouldn't quit so I had to block his screen name.  Then he signed on with all his other screen names, still continuing with his pestering.  Then he signed onto my forum with other user names, still continuing with his pestering.  I've had to ban him yet again and again.  The chaos seemed to have died down after he spoke with the only moderator who took his side in a previous thread.  But this moderator realized how the situation got out of hand so he decided not to participate in it.  Knowing no one would take the banned moderator's side, that's probably why he gave up with the pestering.  What I have trouble understand is that he was such a cool guy before.  I didn't expect him to have such immature characteristics hidden within.  When the whole situation is boiled down, it all started just because he didn't like it that I disagreed with him.  That's not a good characteristic to have when working in groups. :\  Oh well.  He was the only moderator that I've known only the past year.  All my other moderators are very close friends that I've known since like forever.  Their personalities are generally a reflection of mine.  I love them all so very much and appreciate all of their efforts. :)

August 26, 2003 - Upgrades
[Mood:Happy]  As some of you already know, I've finally upgraded my account. ^_^  I've been adding so many large file goodies!  I'm so happy that I can finally add all these things I've been meaning to add.  One of them was a forum!  Yup, I finally have a real forum!  No more fussing with that old pop-up-ad infested free message board. >_<  As I've rambled about before, I want this forum to be a haven for those who had been mistreated or banned from other forums for stupid reasons.  Now I have a chance to make my dream come true.  But of course, it still must have rules to keep the peace.  I can't let jerks and rude people get away with mischief.  Anyway, back to talking about large file, my very first large file update was the D&D arcade R0Ms! =D  Now people don't have to go through the trouble of going to massive ad-infested R0M sites to snag the D&D R0Ms.  My next update was the Tales of Phantasia PSX movie clips.  I've been meaning to add those for a looong time.  I have more movie clips to come!  Wheeeee. ^_^  Btw, I got straight A's in all my classes. 

August 23, 2003 - The path of misery
[Mood:Feels sorry for certain people]  I met someone a couple months ago, by now I've fully psycho-analyzed his personality.  He's one of those people who, deep down, love to think their life sucks and encourages misfortune to happen.  Meaning he loves to have problems and stir up chaos when interacting with other people.  I'm a happy person and I express it.  People who welcome misfortune don't like to see other people around them happy so they try to make their lives suck.  I did what I could to change him, but it didn't work.  I knew my attempts would end in vain, but I did it anyway.  Not sure why, I guess I was curious to see what would happen.  People like this guy are more common than you think.  I'm sure some of you reading this have that exact same personality.  Well, whatever makes people happy.  There's no problem with that, happiness is all that matters.  Its what keeps us alive.  Still, I can't help but feel sorry for sad people like that.  All I can do is spread happiness the best way I can and hope it lightens up their life.  Even if it only has little effect, its better than nothing.  Oh btw, someone complained about this journal being somewhat difficult to follow when reading so I've tightened up the margins.  Hope it helps.

July 12, 2003 - Psycho-bitch returns & mind ramblings
[Mood:Pissy/lost in thought]  Psycho-bitch (a.k.a. Brenda) attends my college, AIU, now! >_<  I saw her in a classroom today.  I'm so glad she didn't notice me.  Psycho-bitch is an evil woman whom I attempted friendship with after high school graduation.  She gets nasty mood swings and viciously yells at her friends over little things that don't even have anything to do with them.  I immediately broke contact with her after the first time she exploded at me with one of her mood swings.  Geez, out of ALL the people I knew in high school...  of all the HUNDREDS of people...  fucking psycho-bitch has to be the one that I see attend my college.  I really hope I don't run into her in the near future.  Anyway, we finally turned in a project in that one class that we haven't turned in anything yet, and my work was the best.  So its official, I am the best in all my classes yet again! >:D  Dammit, this is so weird.  I'm supposed to be the one who sucks.  In high school, people in art classes have always been better than me.  I wonder what happened that made my creativity and artistic abilities dramatically improve.  Could it be working on my website for so many years?  Maybe.  Could it be my obsessive interest in anime?  Maybe.  Could it be the fact that I've been meditating almost everyday since I was 5, constantly stimulating my mind?  Maybe.  Perhaps it has been a little of everything.  Speaking of meditation, I will tell you a little something I've learned about the mind.  The mind is like a camera that never stops recording.  It records everything that you experience everyday.  I wouldn't necessarily call it memories.  Memories are specific things or events we choose to remember and keep on "standby" in the back of our mind.  These highly detailed recordings I'm talking about are mostly hidden in your subconscious mind.  We have naturally chosen to ignore it since we focus our attention on aspects of our daily lives, like our responsibilities, problems, interests/hobbies, etc.  Can we access these detailed recordings?  Well, yes and no.  They're "encrypted" in complex thought.  Bits and pieces of it are revealed to you during your dreams.  Its one of the reasons why your dreams can tell you something important like to put emphasis on a problem or possible danger that you're not consciously aware of.  It is possible to browse these thoughts consciously, but you will only be able to during a deep meditation (a state similar to dreaming).  Even then, you will get lost easily.  What have I done about this?  Heh, well, I've trained my mind to "highlight" all the interesting things it picks up throughout the day.  They build up like e-mails in an electronic mailbox.  During meditation, I can browse all these highlighted thoughts.  As I have mentioned before, these thoughts are complicated, so that is the reason why I can only browse them during meditation.  If I wish to remember some of my findings outside of meditation then I need to take the time to "translate" the thought(s) into something I can easily remember.  What kind of thoughts do I highlight?  Hmm, well, mostly the actions of all the people I interact with in my life, real life and internet life.  Peoples' reactions tell a lot about what kind of person they are and the details of their personality.  In other words, I'm psycho-analyzing people.  Why?  Two reasons: so I can find more reasons to appreciate the people I like and to protect myself from people who could possibly do me harm.  Once I've known a person for some time, I eventually find a solution to their biggest problem.  Most of the time, its a problem that they're not even aware of.  I can only do this with real life people because its not possible to reach such a high level of familiarity with someone over the net.  Have I ever told someone the solution to their deepest problem?  Never...  I'm afraid to.  I keep all my findings to myself.  Why?  Well, its complicated.  Mostly because its none of my business to tell people what to do with their personal problems.  Other times its because that person wouldn't understand my solution since its not a part of their personality.  For example, I've recently found a solution for some guy at college.  He is one of those people who always must have the upper-hand in a conversation and he's controlling.  This causes problems in his life.  He also has a lot of potential to be a manager or be successful if he starts his own business.  His solution would be to hide his controlling characteristics from people and express them only in clever ways in such a way that people wouldn't easily realize that they're being controlled by him.  This will result in his life being happier and easier to live.  Most importantly, he must not give up his controlling characteristics or else he wont be too successful in life.  I focus on finding peoples' happiness so that is what I've found for him.  Will I ever tell that guy his solution?  Ha, never.  I don't like him, I think he's a jerk.  Why did I take the time to find his happiness?  I can't help it.  Our conscious minds are clouded by hate and quick judgment.  But during deep meditation that cloud is pushed aside.  Kind of like in Princess Mononoke, the main character's mission is "to look with eyes unclouded by hate".  Meditation brings out your true nature of thought.  My true nature of thought is pure kindness.  However, when I break out of meditation, that cloud of hate and quick judgment comes back to influence my thoughts.  Its something we all have because we are all human.

July 3, 2003 - I am da bomb
[Mood:Enthusiastic]  Well, I've completed three classes so far in college.  I was the best of the class in 2 and one of the best in the other.  Right now I'm taking three more.  So far its seems I'm the best in my Photoshop class.  In my other two classes we haven't really done much yet, but soon everyone will see that I am the best!  Heh.  College has made me realize how good I am with art.  I would've never imagined that I would be this good in my classes.  I hesitated going to college because I didn't think I would be that good.  My whole life there has always been people who are better than me at things.  Btw, here's a recent photo of me. This is how I look like when I'm due for my monthly haircut (I always get a fade from a 0 to a 2) and not shaved in about two weeks. =P  There you see my station of two laptops and a desktop. The white one is Mac's iBook.  I'm currently listening to music with my iBook as I use my original laptop to type this up.  I switch between my three comps to use AOL and browse the net.  Though I don't use my iBook much to browse because IE for Mac sucks. :P  AOL for Mac sucks too.  I hate the default picture viewer too.  Luckily, there's a Mac version of ACDSee.  The Mac version of WinAmp doesn't have the plug-in system. >_<  I was like "NOOOOOO I NEED MY VIDEO GAME MUSIC!!!!!!111"  Fortunately, a classic gamer who loves Mac made a player that plays NES, SNES, Genesis, TG16 and Master System songs.  But no Playstation PSF support. -_-; I had to convert all my favorite PSF soundtracks to MP3 so I can listen to them on the iBook.  Speaking of that, I am SO in love with the soundtrack for Legend of Mana, Chrono Cross and Xenogears; mostly Chrono Cross.  I haven't even played Chrono Cross or Xenogears yet. =P  Though I'm considering to now that I've experienced their excellent soundtracks.  If you're not into PSFs then you should be!  So like, yeah.  I've re-watched my Sailor Moon S Heart Snatcher saga episodes.  I can't get enough of the Sailor Moon lesbians, Haruka and Michiru.  They're so awesome!  And then there's the super cute Hotaru.  I so want to get the Pegasus collection episodes.  And I SO want to upgrade my web site's account already.  I mustn't!  I need to wait until I get another job until I do.  But once I upgrade my web site's account then there will be some awesome additions.  Several of my RPG sections will have movie clips and MP3s added.  I will be able to host the massive r0ms for the two awesome Dungeons & Dragons arcade games (that I will be adding covering of soon).  Best of all, I will get a real forum!

May 30, 2003 - Irony
[Mood:Pissed]  UGH!!!! >_<  A fellow webmaster whom I respect is friends with...  Thomax!  Fucking Thomax!! >_<  ARGH!!  Why must Thomax haunt me so?  Why, dammit?!  WHY?!  GAHHH!!!  Damn you, Thomax!  Damn you and your Bible Belt ways!  Have you heard the recent news?  Thomax is currently out of work so he is forced to shut down his site.  Then he made a last-minute decision to move it to good old GeoShitties.  One side of me is saying "shut down! yes! shut down your site for good!!" and the other side is saying "no! he maintains the #1 FF5 site! he must stay online to preserve FF5's legacy!"  Argh, such confusions I feel.  Btw, this webmaster whom I respect maintains this excellent FF4 site, his name is Dawezy.  He's this really cool Australian guy.  He even says "mate" a lot, heh. ;D  I complimented his website in detail the first time I talked to him over AIM.  Though I was afraid to tell him I had a website too because he might pass off my compliments as brown-nosing for a link exchange.  He eventually came to know I have a website because its in my EZBoard signature and I've been posting in his forum.  He hasn't said anything about my site to me...  :(  I guess my site hasn't impressed him.  Oh well, can't satisfy everyone. :\  But I was hoping to impress him.  It means a lot to me when a fellow webmaster of a classic gaming website honors me with their praise.  Anyway, he's friendly with Thomax!! >_<  Bah!  I'm so curious how he met up with my enemy.  They both maintain excellent classic FF websites so the obvious scenario is that one of them stumbled upon each other.  Hmm.  Dawezy is the cool, friendly guy so he was likely the one to started the friendship.  But...  Dawezy is dirty!  No no I don't mean that in a bad way.  Dawezy likes to use profanity, loves hentai and dirty jokes (like me, heh, but I'm not into hentai).  And Thomax is Mr. Bible Belt.  How is such a friendship possible?! >_<  Why does it have to be Thomax, dammit!  Ugh.  Fucking Thomax.  Just hearing his name pisses me off.  Its so irritating.  It sounds like "Thomas" but there's an "x".  Its disrupting for a common name to be altered with such an exotic letter.  Want to know how I feel?  Say "Thomax" out loud over and over.  Yes, right now.  I don't care if you're in a library with lots of people around.  Okay start repeating it.  Keep on repeating.  Keep on.  A little more.  Isn't it pissing you off?!  See!  His name is EVIL.  Its a curse word!  Use it with caution when you're in another country.  In ancient cultures, "Thomax" means "unholy demonic angel of death."  Its true, dammit!

May 29, 2003 - X-Men
[Mood:Orgasmic]  I bought an X-Men cartoon series DVD bundle off of E-Bay. ^_^  OMG this series is so awesome!!  I haven't stopped watching it since I got it.  Its even better than I thought it was.  You see, back then when the series aired on TV, I missed several of its episodes so I never got a full understanding of the plots.  Now I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen to Jean Grey in X-Men 3.  A being known as the Phoenix will possess her body and save her life, then begins The Phoenix Saga.  Basically, its about some emperor from another planet who wants to use a crystal that will destroy the universe and allow him to create his own.  Phoenix is the only one who can stop him.  Then Phoenix gets exposed to human emotion via Jean Grey then she turns into the evil Dark Phoenix.  X-Men rules!

May 12, 2003 - And some more sites bite the dust
[Mood:Disappointed]  Dammit!  I just checked the links in my FF6 links section and I've found that all the devoted FF6 sites have shut down.  UGH!  This sucks.  I get so depressed when this happens.  I'm worried about the legacy of classic gaming on the net.  Sure there are tons of sites that cover tons of games, but they're nothing compared to the little fan sites which are exclusively devoted to one game or series.  As a devoted gamer of the classics and devoted webmaster, in my experience, I've seen sooo many excellent websites come and go...  it seems only the larger sites stay up.  The immensity of a larger site is a reflection of the webmaster's devotion and passion for his interests.  Now that I think about it, I can see how all of these good little fan sites end up shutting down.  First of all, maintaining a web page is not something for everyone.  People get tired of it, either out of frustration or lack of enthusiasm.  The common person tends to easily pass it aside as real life problems demand them elsewhere.  As all of us already know, its just a hobby. =P  Hobbies come and go.  Some people get obsessed while for others its just a short phase.  As for me, I am obsessed. ^_~  Very much so.  You can count on me staying online forever.  My website is almost a requirement for my life.  I *have* to have some way to express my love for my interests.  I want to show everyone how cool the games I'm playing are and provide ways for them to experience it themselves.  Oh yeah, and with anime too. -_-;;  Heh.  Can't forget about the anime part. -_-;;;;;;;  I need to get more web space before I can expand the anime portion of my site.  It'll be quite a long while until that happens.  Anyway, as some of you may have already heard, Tactics Ogre and Rudora no Hihou are very close to completion.  They actually should be completed any day now if everyone continues to run smoothly with the translation groups.  I've been going to the translation homepages a couple times a day so I can be one of the first to know. ^_^  Of course, I will also immediately spread the word in my site so you can also stay tuned to my message board for TO & RnH updates.

April 28, 2003 - School presentations
[Mood:Proud]  UGH!  The final for one of my classes is to do a 10-minute presentation in first-person in front of everyone! >_<  First-person as in we need to pretend to be whoever our person is for 10 whole minutes.  The teacher handed out a jar with names of historic people and various animals, each crumbled up so it can be like a lottery.  I picked up William Puckett, some Civil War guy.  This presentation happened today.  I waited till the last minute (as usual) so I ended up preparing everything last night.  I put together 8 note cards to read off of.  As I watched other students do their presentations, I was saying to myself "HOLY SHIT--THEY ALL HAVE IT MEMORIZED!!!!"  Well, it was too late for me to memorize all the damn notes I printed onto those cards of mine. -_-;;  There was no order of student presentations, people chose when they wanted to go.  At first I was enthusiastically eager to choose to go next, but it didn't take long for all the good MEMORIZED presentations to strike fear into my soul--and my grade.  Fortunately, some unprepared people decided to do their presentations.  Two girls just read off papers they printed from the internet.  The teacher said only note cards were allowed.  Watching these unprepared people gave me a lot more confidence.  To make up for my un-memorized presentation, I put my imagination to use and made up several emotional additions to go along with Puckett's history.  This is actually what the teacher wants us to do since this class (its called Foundation Studio btw) revolves around being more creative.  Pretty much everyone presented by just standing in one place and talking in their normal voice, which is what the teacher doesn't want us to do.  He wants us to BE the person.  I eventually chose to do my presentation.  I decided to make my presentation like a short play.  I drew a window and a flower vase on the back board to empathize that the classroom was a house.  Some guy had a fake rifle for his presentation and let me borrow it.  I placed the rifle on a table next to the fake window.  I placed a chair in the center of my open space.  I started my presentation by welcoming everyone into my house, as if they're visiting just to hear the story of my (Puckett's) life.  Btw, I'm talking the whole time with my fake Southern accent.  I began to read from my note cards while envisioning how much that will lower my grade.  I occasionally walked around or stood in different places so that I don't stay in one place the whole time.  I decided to make my made-up stuff all about Puckett's wife.  I said a bunch of emotional mumbo jumbo like "my wife's smile is all I need to go through those tough battles."  Read more from my cards.  Then I took advantage of that guy's fake rifle and said it was my rifle throughout the Civil War and that I have a lot of memories with it blah blah.  Read more from my cards.  Btw, I'm not just reading the cards.  I did practice reading the cards with my fake Southern accent the night before so I was able to read them as if Puckett was really talking.  Then I concluded by saying "my wife was smiling next to me the last moments before I died and that's all I needed to pass on content."  Then I said "oh, you have to go? well come back sometime ya'll!" and walked them out of the house.  I was the *only* person who made my presentation like a play.  It was probably the most creative one overall! =D  Cant say it was the best because some people that had to do animals did them pretty good, but not like a short play and with emotional parts.  Unfortunately, as I have said, I read from my cards most of the time. :(  But I accomplished my goal by attempting to make the creative part of my presentation really really good in an attempt to make up for not memorizing the whole darn thing.  On top of that, looking at my cards provided some comfort for my nervousness.  So I was looking down at the cards more than I needed to, which lowered my grade even more. >_<  Btw, I was NERVOUS AS HELL.  Seriously, I was so nervous that you could hear the tremble in my voice.  My hands were shaking pretty much the whole time.  Anyway, in conclusion, I am proud that I managed to heavily improve my presentation at the last minute and perform one of the best one's.  Standing up in front of people is so not easy.

April 28, 2003 - A compliment
[Mood:Happy]  I'm so flattered that I almost feel like crying. :D  Here's a segment of an e-mail I received tonight...  "I never really got to enjoy the super nintendo games or the classical rpg's because I'm only 14 and didnt get into that stuff for awhile. Thanks to you I get to see how great the SNES is ^.^ Your site is the best in my opinion. The first time it went down I kept coming back, then stopped, then one day tried again to see if it was up, and it was, I was excited <.< Well, I hope you keep it up forever"  ...aww. :D  That was very nice of him to take the time to tell me his thoughts.  Btw, I just saw Spirited Away.  Its a very beautiful movie!  I enjoyed it very much.  Its one of those anime movies by Hayoa Miyazaki that Disney brought over.  He's the guy who also made Kiki's Delivery Service and Princess Mononoke.

April 18, 2003 - Reality
[Mood:Depressed]  Part of growing up is accepting certain realities of life.  Get ready because I'm going to sound negative, but its so very true...  the only person you can truly trust is yourself.  Everyone who you interact with in your life talks behind your back.  Unless you're in a troubled family, close loved ones would rarely do it.  Practically all the people you work with and practically all of your friends talk behind your back.  And, of course, you and I do the same.  This is only a part of human nature.  At several points of your life, friends and/or co-workers will back-stab you and/or take advantage of you.  When it happens, what will you do?  How will you confront them?  Will you do it with anger or with understanding?  After the damage has been done, who will you depend on?  The people you love, right?  Your best bet is family.  Family is always there for you.  Always, no matter what.  Perhaps close friends too.  Friends come and go.  I grew up in Miami.  The last year before I left, I had a large group of friends.  Many of them were close friends.  Then I moved.  As the years went by...  slowly, one by one, they didn't care to continue talking to me.  The only person left is Robert, my best friend whom I've known since kindergarten.  He's the only one who still takes the time to call me.  Even though its only once or twice a year, he still calls me.  Again, I am haunted by the phrase which is always annoying the hell out of me...  you never realize how special something is until its gone.  Isn't that such a terrible feeling?  Anyway, to conclude the back-stabbing topic...  it doesn't matter.  The bad things in your life and the downside of human nature all don't matter.  As I have said in previous posts, all that matters in your life is your happiness.  Your bad decisions are only bad if you want them to be.  Things are only complicated if you want them to be.  You are the one who decides your fate.  But will you actually choose happiness?  Or will you choose pain?

April 17, 2003 - Awareness & resignations
[Mood:Enthusiastic]  I LOVE AIU!!  I have this class called Foundation Studio.  The teacher is my new role-model.  The point of this class is to make us more aware of our surroundings because our artistic success relies on our awareness of nature and human behavior.  Basically, its everything I've always known but wasn't able to put it into words correctly.  I've talked about some of it in my December 23, 2002 post.  Btw, I quite my job.  I am no longer an employee of Best Buy.  Why?  Because they worked me too much. >_<  They cut down my hours to help accommodate for my new college schedule, but it still wasn't enough.  I wasn't getting enough hours of sleep, even with the help of sleeping pills.  They didn't want me to go.  Oh well. >:D  I'm kinda sick of working there anyway.  I'm so sick of working with Andrew (supervisor) and Mark (co-worker), which are the two people I have to work the most with since we're all night shift.  Andrew is a strict guy who likes to bring his problems to the work place and Mark is a lazy-ass Jamaican who can't put down his cell phone.

April 11, 2003 - Mac's aren't so bad
[Mood:Indifferent]  I'm used to my iBook now.  It's OS isn't so bad once you get used to it.  I installed something called VirtualPC so I can use Windows applications.  The only drawback is that running Windows on top of the Mac's OS makes it go sooo slooow.

April 10, 2003 - Got a Mackintosh
[Mood:Pissy]  As a student of AIU's art major, we all get iBooks, which are Apple's laptops.  It has been eternity since I've fiddled around with a Mac.  My iBook has the Mac OS X operating system.
The good things:
- The taskbar is a neat bar of icons which enlarge when the mouse hovers over it.
- The desktop has a feature which makes the desktop wallpapers like a slide show.  It has a neat little blend transition too.
- The Microsoft Office icons are neato!
- The Mac expands on the capturing power of Window's "Print Screen" button by having a neat little application come with it which allows you to capture the whole desktop, select just a portion of it or capture with a timer.
- Networking is so easy!  I just plug in the network cable and POOF I have internet access at school, and when I'm at home with my wireless network.  I didn't have to punch in any settings.
The bad things:
- OMG its so SLOW!  My baby's processor is 800 Mhz, the Power Book feels like 400 Mhz.  From my understanding so far, Mac's are better for graphics and stuff because they're faster in the sense that bigger chunks of the OS and hard drive are loaded into the RAM.  So its almost like a requirement to buy more memory with your new Mac. >_<
- Emulation...  FUCKING HELL!!!!!  MAC VIDEO GAME EMULATION SUCKS!!!  I've fiddled with SNES, TurboGrafx16 and arcade emulation so far.  This Power Book's power can barely handle it.
- Super Nintendo.  Gotta use the Mac version of Snes9X.  Typical with Snes9X, the sound sucks.  The features have also been watered down and there aren't that many of them.
- Arcade.  According to Zophar, "MacMAME" is the best Mame port for it.  Like Snes9X, the features have been watered down and there aren't that many of them.  The biggest disappointment is the exclusion of screen filters.
- TurboGrafx16.  The Mac is blessed with a perfect port of the #1 TG16 emu, MagicEngine.  The only exception is that is does *not* have CD-ROM support.  So that means no Dracula X, Ys, Exile or Valis. :(
- Gens is only compatible with Windows so that means no Sega CD games either. >:(
- THERE IS NO RIGHT-CLICK.
- Again, THERE IS NO FUCKING RIGHT-CLICK.
- The option to 'Cut' a file does not exist.  You have to copy it to another folder then delete the older one.
- Clicking on the X doesn't close a program.  You *have* to go to File > Quit or press that button with the ugly symbol then Q.
- As neat as the icon bar is with its enlarging icons, using it SUCKS when you have like more than 15 or 20 programs installed.
- The only way to tell that a program is still open is to look for a teeny tiny little notch next to the icon on the task bar.  Its easy to overlook it.  Then when you have several programs open, you're like "OMG WTF its going even slower now!!"
- I HATE the default applications.  The picture viewer, the music player, the DVD player...  SUCK.  They barely have any features.  And the few features they have barely have any keyboard shortcuts to them.  I swear, you almost have to do EVERYTHING with the mouse (which does not have a right-click!!!!! >_< ).  It saddens me knowing that I'll have to be using a Mac with my future career.  I can easily see myself getting that muscle problem from using the mouse too much thanks to the Mac's heavy mouse usage.
To sum things up...
The Mac's OS is great with the complex graphics/movie applications that are designed for it, but it totally sucks to use it for personal use.

March 29, 2003 - I want more anime
[Mood:Restless]  I just finished watching both Magic Knight Rayearth series for like the 30th time.  I LOVE that anime SO much.  An anime fan can't call them self an anime fan without having some Magic Knight Rayearth in their collection.  Its just a pure masterpiece.  Ughh!  Amazing Nurse Nanako is TERRIBLE.  I got that recently and just finished watching it.  This is such a rare situation, I love anime so much that I am confident to just randomly pick one out because I might as well since practically all the anime I watch is considered a masterpiece in my eyes.  Unfortunately, this world is not perfect and it is possible for me to come across an anime that I totally dislike.  Anyway, about Amazing Nurse Nanako, it is terrible! >_<  The whole series pretty much has Nanako running around half-naked doing incredibly stupid things.  To make things worse, the storyline is horribly unbalanced.  Nanako works for this scientist who has some sort of dark past.  The anime repeatedly shows flashbacks of his past, which is quite violent and depressing.  Then the anime switches to half-naked Nanako doing something stupid.  Ughh, its just so BAD.  I also consider it a "borderline-hentai" anime, meaning its nudity and adult behavior makes it borderline to almost be considered hentai.  Fortunately, the other anime I got is excellent. ^_^  The Ghost Sweeper Mikami movie is so cute!  Its kinda like the Japanese version of Ghostbusters.  The guy who always has that ghost following him is my favorite!  He's always crying and panicking in such an exaggerated way.  I got the Yuu Yuu Hakusho Poltergeist Report movie on DVD. ^_^  I've already seen it long ago, but I wanted to own it on DVD.  I also got a borderline-hentai anime called Miyuki-chan in Wonderland.  Its so cute!  Its like the Japanese version of Alice in Wonderland.  The lesbianism in it is hilarious. XD  I want more anime.  MORE!  (notices a whole burned through his wallet)  Dammit! >_<  (there's a pun there btw)

March 28, 2003 - The reality of the internet
[Mood:Disappointed]  The maker of an emulator that I just heard about, PSXeven, quite the project.  He posted this on his webpage...  "i decided to discontinue public releases. Any wip release will now only go people i consider my friends. I worked my ass off for the damn emu, but what do i get in return? crap.. nothing but crap.. not even a hint of respect. So i hope people are happy now."  ...but this journal entry is about the point, not the emu.  This guy couldn't handle the reality of the internet.  My website has an overall average of about 500-700 visitors daily.  I only get like 1 e-mail each week and like 1 or 2 new guest book submissions each week.  The reality of the internet is that practically all of the visitors of a website don't care.  I mean, few people would take the time to give feedback to the webmaster.  And there are some people who do care, but think the webmaster would be too busy to acknowledge their feedback.  The case is even worse for the maker of a video game emulator.  People tend to get spoiled by really good emulators, so they expect the same with others.  This guy most likely got bombarded with e-mails saying "your emulator sucks!".  And now he has given up, he can't handle the reality of the net.  I went through the same thing when I maintained my Pokemon site.  The tons of negative feedback I got from ungrateful people wasn't easy to swallow, but my desire to spread the happiness that my interests give me is strong and wouldn't allow me to just give up on my website.  I admit that every once and a while I do feel a little down from little feedback, I'm only human.  But I eventually pick up again when I get involved with a new project with my site.

March 22, 2003 - Random thoughts
[Mood:Lost in thought]  I try to be an accepting person; I don't want other people to feel left out.  I want to be successful with my career.  I wish other people would be as accepting as I am.  I want to spread the happiness that rpgs and anime have given me...  forever.  Nothing else gives me more joy than to experience the happiness I've given someone; its the spice of my life.  I like to know the things that make people happy.  Nothing in life is more beautiful than experiencing someone's happiness in its purity.  I'm grateful that my parents are still together and that I appreciate all that they've done for me.  I hate people who almost never acknowledge the efforts of others, instead only force them to be more efficient.  Close-minded people make me sad.  The internet is the only place where I can talk about rpgs and anime.  I wonder if I praise the people I admire on the net too much.  I feel like I don't have much of a life by admiring people on the net in the first place.  I wonder what my fellow co-workers say about me when they talk behind my back.  I want the IndianaJones movies on DVD.  I wish I had some friends in real life.  I hope others appreciate the friendships they have now.  I'm sleepy, but I can't sleep; insomnia is a bitch.  My whole FantasyAnime is full of improper grammar.  I want more web space so I can add more anime sections.  I need to cut down on spending to start paying off my college loan.  My room is messy.  I am annoyed by people who break all contact with me just because of something small and insignificant.  I would never do something sudden like that, I like to talk about things and try to resolve them.  Are you aware of the spice of your life?  What gives you the will to live?  I asked someone that:
Amitrius17: tell me
Amitrius17: do you know the spice of your life
Slayer: sup?
Slayer: The spice of my life..
Amitrius17: what aspect of your life pours fuel onto the fire of your enthusiasm
Amitrius17: the spice that gives you the will to live
Slayer: My artistic creation, my love of the sensual and the romantic..
Amitrius17: can you expand on that
Amitrius17: if you don't mind
Slayer: my love of the natural world..
Slayer: Like Henry David Thoreau, I live to suck the marrow out of life.. to live with sensual joy and vivid intensity and awareness. To pursue the good, true, beautiful..
Slayer: The unexamined life is not worth living
Slayer: Oh, there's a lot more.. but I need to know where you're coming from.
Amitrius17: i'm just curious
Amitrius17: just exited meditation, but still swimming in a pool of thought
Slayer: *nods a bit* Nothing wrong with curiosity..
Slayer: Reason is also very valuable in my way of life.
Slayer: I believe man should be guided by it at root.
Amitrius17: so very true
Amitrius17: *farts* *the smell eventually reaches his nose* ughh that one was bad -_-
Amitrius17: i need to do #2
Slayer: It's good to know how honest you are with me.
Amitrius17: >:D

March 19, 2003 - College frustrations have ended
[Mood:Happy]  I am now a student of AIU! =D  Click here to see my AIU ID.  Classes start April 1st.  I'm taking the Visual Communications course.  It includes things like web design, graphic design, CGI, photography, and other stuff of that nature.  That's GREAT for me!  I admit that I'm still undecided with what I want to do the rest of my life.  This degree is designed to introduce me to everything.  These classes are accelerated so I get to have a bachelors in 2 years instead of 4.  Halfway through, they ask me what I like best so they can give me more classes on it.  You know what's so weird?  I am actually happy and excited that I'll be attending it.  I never realized how much the local community college traumatized me.  AIU does *not* have the traditional classroom atmosphere (i.e. a class with 50 people, the teacher does nothing but lecture, everything revolves around the book, you die of boredom), they have a hands-on atmosphere.  AIU's classes only have up to 25 people.  They give you a laptop (of course, you eventually have to pay for it once you graduate and start paying off the loans) and all the classes revolve around it, so everything is hands-on.  Classes are 4 hours: the first 2 is a regular class and the other 2 is group work.  Best of all, I didn't feel like an alien when I went to the orientation (that's just a thing where all your teachers introduce themselves and give an overview of what the classes are like, and to finish up registration).  The feeling is so weird!  I met some people my age there and I wasn't afraid at all.  I thought I developed several fears from staying in the house so long.  I guess I'm so excited about going to this college that I completely forget how much of a shy and nervous person I am. =P  So like, take my opportunity as some advice for you.  Try not to go to the evil community college!  Look around for a private college which is devoted to your general interest, does not have the traditional classroom atmosphere and teaches you several things instead of just one.

March 1, 2003 - A Thomax Clone
[Mood:Surprised]  Some guy who calls himself AIMRPGer maintains this place.  Our first conversation was two nights ago.  I thought his site was cool since he covers some pretty rare classic rpgs, so I added his link to show my appreciation.  Then his ego exploded and he began to ramble about such things as "See how good my site is? It will eventually become the best rpg website on the net!" ...I tried hard to hold back the laughter.  This guy's site is pretty much all text and a handful of inserted emulator screen shots.  Tonight he IMs me again.  (when I'm pissed I immediately release my frustrations to anyone who IMs me =P ) Here is the infamous chat log:
TheAIMRPGER: You there?
Amitrius17: fucking 32X
TheAIMRPGER: ok
TheAIMRPGER: Wtf.
Amitrius17: 3 freakin AC adapters
TheAIMRPGER: Watch your language.
Amitrius17: get used to it
TheAIMRPGER: Then I have no reason to speak with a lout such as yourself.
TheAIMRPGER: Good-bye despicable fool.
Amitrius17: just so i can play Night Trap 32X
Amitrius17: huh? are you serious?
[ AOL Prompt ] The AIMRPGER is currently signed off
Heh. =P  He's a Thomax clone! >_<  For those who don't know, Thomax is the webmaster of this site.  He posted my FF5 site's link, then removed it once he read my dirty FF5 fanfic.  Now this guy stops talking to me just because of one word of profanity.  Not that I'm going to miss him since I barely know him, its the point.  These people are WEIRD.  They must live on the Bible Belt or something.  Once they get a sign that someone has been "tainted", they immediately pull back into their shell and break all contact.  I wonder how they can live their lives with such a close-minded way of thinking.  They judge far too quickly.  AIMRPGer signed back on a couple minutes later.  I sent him this:
Amitrius17: get in touch with the webmaster of this place http://finalfantasyfive.com/
Amitrius17: you'll get along GREAT with him
Heh. =P  He's giving me the silent treatment--just like Thomax when I e-mail him. XD  This guy, AIMRPGer, he's such a pussy. :p  I mean, I really hate saying this about someone, but c'mon.  He signed off immediately after his final words like a child, and then signed back on in a couple minutes as if he expected me to have disappeared or something.

February 28, 2003 - Adventures with Sega 32X
[Mood:Bah]  I got a 32X just so I can play Night Trap for the Sega CD 32X. ;D  Well, it took me a while to put it all together.  First I bought Night Trap Sega CD 32X thinking it had backward compatibility with regular Sega CD.  I thought wrong. >_<  Then I bought the 32X system for my Genesis/Sega CD.  Hooking it up was a bitch! There's THREE AC adapters now.  I took me 20 minutes to put those steel thingys into the Genesis's cart slot so that it holds back the doors.  I eventually realized that my 32X (which I got from E-Bay) didn't come with the TV adapter.  After a week of looking around and asking questions at various places, I was directed to Sega Parts.  That place sells all the parts for any Sega system! =D  So I bought the 32X TV adapter.  Today I hooked it up and now I finally got the 32X working.  I happily enjoyed playing Night Trap Sega CD 32X...  for the first five minutes! >_<  I didn't realize how temporarily sick I am of Night Trap.  I was completely obsessed with the Sega CD version for 2 whole weeks.  Its going to be a while until I can enjoy it again.  So that ends my 32X adventure.  The rest of the 32X's library doesn't appeal to me much. I think I'm gonna sell my 32X once 32X emulation comes around.

February 21, 2003 - Translation Ramblings
[Mood:Uneasy]  Ughh!!  I hate it when everything just seems so DULL.  NOTHING new is happening.  Translation news have been BLAH.  Gaming news have been BLAH.  Anime news have been...  BLAH.  I've just been a forum whore lately, browsing around various forums and posting mindless jabber.  One post caught my eye with interest.  It was a post about Rudora no Hihou in Gideon Zhi's forum.  Someone said "The graphics are INCREDIBLE. I mean...it looks great like Bahamut Lagoon and Final Fantasy 6. The script might suck but that doesn't have to be everything in an RPG. I thought some of the better rpg's (like Seiken Densetsu 3) were just eye candy compared to Front Mission and Live-a-Live." ...which is a shock for me since I'm used to people bashing Rudora no Hihou. =P  I agree with that guy's quote entirely.  The main reason why most R0M hackers/translators refuse to work on this game is because they say the storyline sucks.  That doesn't make much sense to me. :\  Since when has a "bad storyline" kept a classic rpg fan away from a classic rpg?  What about all the really old rpgs which barely have a storyline?  People still praise them and enjoy them very much. I don't understand why there's so much negativity toward Rudora no Hihou.  Anyway, speaking of Gideon Zhi, he's still working on Front Mission: Gun Hazard.  That game is like Cybernator and Metal Warriors (covered them in Lunch Break).  Front Mission: Gun Hazard is a much better improvement on that style of gameplay.  They've gone into detail with the weapon system and it seams more emphasis has been put into the storyline.  Yeah...  blah...  so bored...  I think I'm going to try out Gideon Zhi's newest translation, King of Demons.  If you want to play it too then you can snag the Jap R0M from CherryROMs.  Search for "Majyuuou".

February 20, 2003 - Dammit
[Mood:Disappointed]  I missed the enrollment for college.  I'm going to be a bum until June. >_<

February 8, 2003 - Webmaster's Block
[Mood:Indifferent]  I posted this on a forum and decided to post it here as well.  I think webmaster's block (like writer's block but with a personal website) is caused by either...
(1) lack of support -- Yup, this could very well be it. The more work we put into our sites, the more we would want some type of justification for it. We're only human afterall. The best way to experience your site's popularity is to get a tracker like at sitemeter.com so you can see where your hits are coming from. Or add a forum or a guestbook. Positive feedback tosses fuel onto the enthusiastic fire!
(2) limitations -- This is very dangerous for enthusiasm. What you're doing in your site may not be satisfying enough for your desire to express your love for the classics. Do something new and/or different. Explore different areas!
(3) following popular demand too much -- This is also dangerous for enthusiasm. NEVER do something just because people want you to! It defeats the purpose of maintaining a fan-based site. It might be satisfying at first but in the long-run it is not, trust me. Always do whatever you feel like when you feel like it.
(4) or just merely a wrong choice during the moment of boredom -- Do something else until you get a spark for workin on the site again. Perhaps trying out random games you've never played would do the trick.

February 5, 2003 - FantasyAnime's Fandom
[Mood:Happy]  I feel loved. ^_^  I think I'm beginning to accept compliments.  I mean, I've always have, I'm talking about really accepting them.  I hesitate to because I don't think my site is all that great, especially since my current peak of web design skills are still lingering in the amateur category.  Here's a guest book comment: "Totally amazing site well done on the tremendous presentation it is without doubt the most professional site I have seen on the net and I go way back to the days of BBS ie 20 years I have looked through your entire site and every page is of a very high quality. Well done and thank you for taking the time to provide us with this information".  As I browse through my site's referral history (the record of web pages people clicked a link to reach my site), I found tons of posts in forums saying stuff like "Check out this awesome site to learn about this game and even download it."  So flattering. ^_^  Just thinking about the compliments almost makes me want to cry calm tears of happiness.  My FantasyAnime is a physical representation of my love for the classics.  Its a living symbol of my spirit and devotion.  Every page...  every picture...  every word...  every detail.  All I want is for others to experience the happiness that the classics have given me.  Happiness is such a priceless thing.  Knowing I spread such happiness makes me speechless.  It will continue to reward me the rest of my life.

January 24, 2003 - More on customers
[Mood:Frusterated]  Geez, there are people out there that seriously think the whole world is against them.  I'll compile a little table for you to show what I mean.  There are 4 types of customers: the nice people, the in-between people, the bitchy people, and the super ultra bitchy people.  FYI, a no shuttle is when the store fails to make sure we get something that is scheduled for a delivery.  Most of the stuff we deliver is right in the warehouse but sometimes the store has to send us something for delivery.

January 18, 2003 - EBay & Night Trap
[Mood:Happy]  I'm...  addicted to eBay. >_<  I never knew how easy it was.  All of the things I've wanted are easily at my reach!  So far I've won Night Trap (Sega CD), Albert Odyssey (Saturn), Dragon Force (Saturn) and a Sega Saturn.  I won each one by bidding like $1 at the last minute! >:D  Luckily, other people don't often do that.  Notice I said "don't often do that," meaning other people have used that same tactic against me on more than one occasion. -_-;;;  I'm so happy that I finally have Albert Odyssey and Dragon Force.  All I need now is Shining Force 3 Scenario 1 and Magic Knight Rayearth.  These four Saturn games are its mega-hit rpgs.  I'm also addicted to...  Night Trap!  I've posted screenies right here in my RPG Lunch Break (scroll to the bottom).  My mini-review of the game and my captions for the screen shots describe in detail why I like it so much. =P  Updates?  Well, I have been working on some maps.  Nothing all that great.  It's going to be a while until another fan-translated rpg comes out.  The next one will probably be Star 0cean.  I vaguely remember Tomato saying he'll try to release it this summer.